Sunday, January 3, 2010

My Son Jake

I want to tell you all about my son Jacob. Jacob was born on Jan 10, 1990 to a proud Mom aka Lovely Wife (Cindy) and Dad (me). About a year after his entrance to the world, he invited all his friends and family to the wedding of his Mom and Dad. He wore the tiniest tuxedo you ever saw and looked quite handsome as he welcomed guests and took a ride on his Uncle Mikey's Harley. (Mikey drove) After about a week Jake was already showing the rest of the world that he was going to live his life at warp speed. He packed a few of his personal belongings and moved North. He was off to Alaska. Jake found the largest state in the country very much to his liking. He enjoyed camping, fishing and hiking with his folks in the beautiful wild places of Alaska. He also met some great people there who would become more than friends to Jake, they were his extended family. He went to elementary school and found that learning came easy to him. He knew that words, spoken as well as written were a wonderful tool that he could use to take himself farther. He loved his books and read with his parents daily, and often while he was alone. Some time passed happily by and Jake asked one day if he might learn to play the piano. His folks were at first skeptical but soon they figured why not? It turned out to be another of his gifts that nobody but Jake knew lay hidden inside of him. Much to the irritation of his piano instructors, he never took much of an interest in actually learning to read music. Jake played mostly by ear and the trophies and commendations that he recieved throughout his piano playing days are a testament of his skill. He played beautifully, and in competitive situations would sometimes forget to open his music, or forget to turn a page, raising a few eyebrows at the judges table. He played regularly throughout his childhood and on through high school and beyond. He did eventually learn to read, and write a little music but his choice was always to just play. At the ripe old age of around 6, Jake thought he might like to perform on a somewhat grander stage and discovered community theatre. He could be an actor as well as a musician and all the world would know of his talents...again we were a tad bit skeptical. What use for a 6 yr. old could the Anchorage Community Theatre possibly have? Having earlier decided not to stifle him in his quest for greatness we agreed to let him audition for a part in an upcoming production...Jake got a part, A Lollipop Guild Thug in The Wizard of Oz. (Let me just say, as a parent, there are a lot of hours involved in rehearsing for a major production.) So now we have school, piano lessons, and play rehearsals to attend. Life was grand...and busy. This was how Jake liked things, he lived life at well over 100 mph. I wondered sometimes if he confused the word excel with accelerate. The production opened to wonderful reviews and ran for I believe 3 weeks. Jake's favorite part of his nightly performance was the cast lineup after the show to meet members of the audience. It was one of these chance meetings that led to his next acting gig...a television commercial for a local mortgage company. He was pretty happy and even more so when they sent him a check for his eforts and invited him to a preview party complete with sodas and popcorn. Life was grand. Mom and I were just happy to be along for the ride. (as it was, we were his ride...no limo for him just yet!) The following year Jake auditioned for a community theatre production of To Kill A Mockingbird. He was given the part of young Dill. Mom and I had some reservations about the language and racial slurs in the production but it was directed very well and worked out just fine. His performance earned him a glowing review in the Anchorage Daily News. Having been recognized as probably the greatest performer ever, he retired from acting and went on to persue other interests.
When Jake was about 9 yrs old he moved once again to the midwest and the place of his birth. He was well recieved and established himself as more of a leader than a follower. He was a knowledge sponge growing up, reading books and watching news programs. He continued playing his piano and as a 5th grader decided that he could probably also play the saxophone. After one long day at school he announced to Lovely and I that he had indeed joined the band. Nice. He continued to play that sax happily until he began high school, afterward he still played it, only not as happily. (we didn't think he should quit for fear he might want drums or a tuba or a digideroo(sp?) or something weird) I haven't seen that saxaphone for probably 3 years...must be in his car. Jake enjoyed the competitive scholars bowl team he was a part of during high school. Scholars bowl is a kind of after school thing where your school takes on other schools trying to answer a bunch of questions for points...like Jeopardy minus the talented Mr. Alex Trebek. He also became involved with Teen Court. It was run by the county I think, and the best way to describe it was like a tribunal. The teens assumed the roles of prosecutors and defense attorneys and tried real cases involving teens. The defendants were kids in their peer group who had commited non-violent crimes and agreed to be tried in teen court hoping for a little lighter sentence. The program was successful and I think other places have used it as well. Jake went on through high school making friends and being a typical (sort of) teenager. Sometimes doing the stupid things that teenagers do but mostly being a really good kid. He got his drivers license and at 16 Mom and Dad gave him a car. At 15 he had told us that he wanted a really nice car with a big stereo and air conditioning... We were going to give gave him our old 95 Tercel with no air cond. and an a.m. radio. When he got it, he was pleased as punch! He was told he could have the car but he had to pay for gas and insurance for it. So he needed a job. He found one at the Mall Deli. Now if you have ever been to Pittsburg Ks. you know about the Mall Deli. Best sammiches and bagels in all the world. He worked there from when he was about 15 until he got sick last May. He started s a busboy, and moved to the back line to cook and make sammiches. He truly loved his work and his co-workers, and his boss. When Jake was a junior in high school he was invited to go to Boys State of Kansas. Boys State is run by the American Legion and selected junior boys in high schools from all over the state go there to create and run a mock government. He so enjoyed his time there that he volunteered and was accepted to be a counselor for the next year, and following years.
From this mock political experience Jake became even more involved in political causes. He began college at Pittsburg State University majoring in political science. Although he excelled in his studies carrying a 3.9 gpa, he decided that he wanted to change majors as a sophmore and study psychology. He never lost his political interests though. He felt that young people needed to voice their opinions, get educated about the issues, and vote. He wanted to spread the word and with the help of some like-minded college friends he launched a campaign to run for Governor of Kansas for 2010. Campaign headquarters was my house and those kids always showed up for meetings on Monday evenings ready to work...or eat. I was so proud of those kids. They did manage to spread their word and register many new voters but mostly now it seems like they all were learning about our government and the prcesses. Jake withdrew from the gubernatorial race to serve his country in another capacity...he joined the Army. He was scheduled to ship out to boot camp in October. On his weekend trip up to Kansas City to the M.E.P.S. (Army medical stuff) he became ill, but stuck it out and finished his weekend. At home he was planning to go to Manhattan Ks. to be a counselor for Boys State. Mom and Dad demanded that he see a doctor before blasting off for 12 days. The doctor told him in no uncertain terms he was not going anywhere but the hospital. This was around the 21st of May I think. 4 days later, worsening, he was transferred to KU Med in Kansas City. It would be another 3 weeks before he was finally diagnosed with H.L.H. He has been hospitalized pretty much the whole time since. He was home a couple of times for very few days before becoming to ill to remain out of the hospital. He underwent chemotherapy to fight his illness and prepare him for a transplant. He recieved a bone marrow transplant on 09/09/09 at approx 9:00 in the evening. He achieved 100% engraftment and things were looking more positive for awhile. Jake has since picked up several new illnesses including meningitis, and a fungus called aspergillus.
Jan. 1 the doctors believe Jake had a mild stroke. An MRI was done and confirmed that he had developed more lesions on his brain. His sickness was progressing despite the drugs they were giving him. At this point My wife and I were given the news that no parent ever should have to hear. Our son is going to die. We knew at the beginning of this process that there was a chance we could lose Jake and thus made sure to talk to him at length about his wishes should things go horribly wrong. An advance directive was drawn up and signed and notarized. It is Jakes wish that he not be placed on any life sustaining machines if he won't probably be able to have a decent life. He has made it very clear to us that there is a difference between being alive and having a LIFE! Barring some miracle of biblical proportions my son Jake will leave this place and go to God in the very near future. His life has brought his family and friends so much joy over the last 20 years. Some people live 100 years and never do anything, not my son. Jake packed a whole life into 20 short years and did it wearing a smile. He is not afraid and although unable to speak was holding his Moms hand and trying his best to comfort her throughout the night. Strength and Faith will carry him home. We give thanks to God for sharing one of his children with us if only for a little while.

27 comments:

Danica-Dragonfly said...

Oh my God, Mark. I just ache for you.

If there is anything ... anything I can offer you - I'm here.

God bless you.

Danica-Dragonfly said...

He is an amazing young man - for sure.

Heather said...

I read this and was just about sobbing. What an amazing son you have - you must feel so blessed to have him in your life. He has achieved so much more in his 20 years than many will ever achieve in countless lifetimes, myself included, and he has such dignity. My heart goes out to you and your family at this awful, awful time. I wish I could say something to comfort you, but nothing I say will be enough. Please know that if you need anything, I'll be here. My love to you and your family.

Ruth said...

Sweet...yet so, so sad. I love and miss you all and wish there was something I could do to help out. I'm so sorry to hear and will still keep you all in my prayers. <3 Stay strong!

franzi said...

oh mark, i feel for your family. it sounds like jake has experienced so much, and touched so many people along his way - that's wonderful.
i wish your family the strength you need in this time.

Spot said...

I am crying profusely while I type this. It really is something no parent should ever have to hear and yet I've attended many children's funerals. This was a beautiful tribute to Jake's life. A life which he obviously lived to the fullest in his twenty years. I think everyone who came in contact with Jake should feel blessed. He was obviously one of the rare people who actually make a difference and inspire others.

If there's anything you need...I'll move heaven and earth to help.

♥Spot

Chris Johnson said...

My eyes are to teard up to write anything else but this. Love you guys!

Ann Fitz said...

I spoke to Chris today and he gave me the news, then I read this. What a wonderful account that you were able to write. I see his birthday is about a week away. My little 7-year-old has said, "Your birthday is the second-best day; the best day of your life is when you die because then you get to see Jesus." I hope that gives you some comfort and that each of you know Jesus as both Lord and Savior. See Romans 10:9-10. Also, I'm here in KC so if I can do anything for you -- errands, bringing food, anything -- let me know. 913-205-2935.

Sally W said...

What an amazing young man your son must be. It is a rare and precious gift to be entrusted with a child that impacts so many in such a manner. You and your wife must be pretty amazing yourselves.

And now you are here...not the path any of you could have envisioned, nor one any would chose to trod.

You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight. If not a miracle, then perhaps a small measure of peace & serenity for you all.

We do not know one another, but my baby sister, Megan Baker is your friend and she led me here via her FB page.

Thank you for allowing me a glimpse of your amazing son and the rich life you have led together.

Sincerely,
Sally Williams
Fayetteville, AR

Deirdre Hock said...

Thank you for sharing Jake's story with us. I enjoyed learning about this exceptional person. It's too bad the world is losing him as we could use a lot more like him.

kathryn said...

Oh, Mark. I am so very, very sorry. I won't even pretend to imagine what this has been like for your family.

Jake sounds like an amazing son and you and Cindy are amazing, loving parents who've had to deal with the unthinkable.

Please know that Jake is in my thoughts and prayers. If I can do anything, please don't hesitate to shout.

Diana Oertle said...

Wow Mark - your testament of Jake and the journey that you've been blessed to be a part of is amazing. Thank you for taking time to share it. God be with you all in this time and may he grant you the peace that passes all understanding.

bobelly said...

through the tears i will try again to post my comments: What a wonderful story you wrote about your boy, he is truly AMAZING!!! Thank you for sharing it with us. You must know that God has blessed you and your wife with Jake. God is great! I feel so sorry that your family has to go through this, I wish i had the power to make all this better. I will continue to pray for you and your family. God Bless!!

Diana Oertle said...

Mark - I posted this link on your Facebook page also, but I didn't know where you would see it first, so I'm posting it here too. I can't stop thinking about you all and this song keeps coming into my head, so I feel like I must share the link:

http://vodpod.com/watch/163750-casting-crowns-praise-you-in-the-storm

Anonymous said...

th him at Northeast.... He and your family are in my thoughts and prayers... He looked at everything with ease and could always make us laugh at the deli... We miss him very very much...

Unknown said...

Mark and Cindy. I know that you will cherish your every waking moment with Jake. Your story was so strong and straight from the heart! I am SO very proud of Jake, and I have not met him. I know that Heaven will be getting an awesome child, son, and friend!! My thoughts and prayers go out to you..you will forever be thought of and your love will never die!!

Anonymous said...

I knew Jake in High School and even took a few college classes with him. Sadly I wish I had taken the time to get to know him better than just as a person I took classes with. But There will be lots of time for that later. God clearly has greater plans for you in Heaven Jake.

Anonymous said...

Mark thanks so much for sharing Jakes story. Jake has truely lived a very exciting life in a very short time. The heavens are going to be bringing home an exceptional young man. He will continue his talents and achievements from the heavens above.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

I'm here if you and Cindy need anything....

Anonymous said...

Mark thanks so much for sharing Jakes story. Jake has truely lived a very exciting life in a very short time. The heavens are going to be bringing home an exceptional young man. He will continue his talents and achievements from the heavens above.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

I'm here if you and Cindy need anything....

Tammy Marker

Anonymous said...

Mark & Cindy..I will never forget the day I ran into you at Wal Mart right after you moved back. Cindy you and I were catching up and Jake was standing beside you, he stood there so polite while we talked and you turned to him and introduced him to me. He politely shook my hand and said "it's nice to meet you". He was maybe all of 9? I knew then that he was a very special person, so interested in people and genuinely cared about how he made them feel.
He is an angel here and will be an exceptional angel in heaven.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do.
Your in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Love you all,
Lynnette

Jessica said...

I will never understand why terrible, heart wrenching things happen to good people - great people. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Please, if there is anything I can do, let me know. I'll even mail dinner or something...or maybe call somewhere near you to have them deliver it...probably a better idea.

Whatever you need - I'll do it.

Anonymous said...

You are a wonderful Father!!!

Anonymous said...

Mark,
You do not know me, however, we have many mutual friends. I read your story and cry as no one should have to go through this as a parent. I do want you to know that I also do not know Jake, but feel as if I do from all the wonderful stories I have heard about him and how many peoples lives he has touch in a positive way. From what I have heard, you had to have been the greatest parents to raise such a son that could touch so many lives in 20 years.

sas said...

i'm so sorry this is happening to your family.
take care of each other.
xxx

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss; I could never imagine as a parent what you are going through. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Your son was a blessing to the lives of many; as he is being rejoiced in heaven for his homecoming we will mourn him leaving this world.

Leese said...

hugs.. love.. thoughts.. prayers..

I had this compelling need to reach out to you and Cindy so I figured the best thing that I can do is join the Match Registry.

Which I just did before starting this comment.

Hopefully, if the world works the way it should.. I can be a donor that enables someone's life to continue and it will be all Jake's fault!!

Love to you Buddy .. Here if you need me

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