We All Do It

Hey there's someone I know! Haven't seen him/her in a h-while. Maybe I should go over and say hello. I do have grass to mow though, and Lovely is sitting in the car waiting on me and this ice cream will undoubtedly melt if he/she starts yapping about their sick cat and lousy tomato crop. Do I really have time to listen to some useless drivel about what they've been doing? Do I honestly care? How close were we at the height of our friendship? Could this person possibly have anything to tell me that might change my outlook on today, or will they just blather on about things that mean almost nothing to me? Possibly even throwing in a story about someone I don't even know and will likely never meet.

Is reconnecting with this person more important than my Cherry Garcia ice-cream?(thank you Ben and Jerry) What about my lawn? How can I possibly neglect my lawn? I see it every day...hell it lives at my house! Surely my lawn is more important than this persons Branson vacation with thier Aunt from back East, right?

And then there's Lovely. She will almost certainly remove an appendage if I keep her waiting in the car for what will, by the time I get done with Ol' slackjaw here, seem like an eternity.

What is this person even doing here at Wal-Mart in the middle of the day? Doesn't he/she have anything better to do than come up here and try to hold me up with their bullshit stories and half-ass insincere pleasantries? What makes him/her think that I have time to listen to their crap? I have a life...and if they think I am gonna stand around and waste time with them they are sadly mistaken. Not me, not today, not while I have ice-cream.

I should dash into this aisle and hope I'm not noticed. But... what if they saw me? Did he/she see me... seeing them? Oh man, now what? I am gonna look like a total weiner if they saw me seeing them and then ducked out before saying hello. He/she will probably think I am mad at them. Or worse, they might tell someone else what a douche-bag I am for ignoring them at Wal-Mart. I can hear them now, "Oh yeah he totally saw me...and then ran down the soda aisle like he was choking on an asprin!"

Then what? Everyone will think I'm a snob. I bet they wouldn't even speak to me the next time they saw me at Wal-Mart. That would suck. Maybe I should just pop over say Hi.

There's my phone...oh just him/her. Pshhttt, like I have time to talk to them right now. They can leave a message.