Thursday, May 5, 2011

My Letter To Blatz Beer

Ok I recently sent an e-mail letter to the Blatz Brewery and my friend thought it was funny....yep, they have yet to respond...

To: Blatz Brewery,
I'm writing this letter to request a tour of your brewing facility and purchase 2 cases of your fine beer for a
nostalgic fishing trip with an old and dear friend.

First a little history:
My good friend Mike and I graduated from Pittsburg High School in Pittsburg Kansas in 1983. Mike and I were
great friends and partners in crime. (The fact is we never committed any real crimes but the cliche seems appropriate)
As is too often the case, shortly after graduation life started happening and Mike and I lost touch for several years. He
moved to Arkansas, and I relocated to Missouri. Sometime around 1989 I had returned to Pittsburg and Mike and I crossed
paths once again and discovered we still had a strong friendship and many similar interests. 2 of our favorite things in life
were fishing and drinking Blatz beer. Mike would show up ringing my doorbell most weekends with a tackle box and a case
or 2 of Blatz longnecks. Life truly was good and we savored our afternoons fishing, drinking, and telling lies. We had a saying
back then that if the fish weren't biting...the beer certainly would be. We stayed loyal to your brand for our expeditions and
endured many a painful hangover thanks to your brewing expertise. We introduced many of our friends to Blatz and I like to
think that they are better people for having sampled your beer.

In 1991 I again relocated, this time to Anchorage Alaska and what was, as far as I could see, a Blatz free zone. I couldn't buy
it anywhere and often longed for its unique deliciousness. Mike and I again lost touch for a number of years, however our legendary
fishing trips were never forgotten. Flat tires, swamped boats, mosquitoes, rain and the blazing heat of an August afternoon were
never a problem as long as we had our sense of humor and a few bottles of Blatz beer.

Recently Mike and I ran into one another and our friendship is as strong as ever. We have resumed our fishing and lie telling trips,
sans one key element, that key element is Blatz beer. I have searched high and low for Blatz even enlisting the help of a friend who
owns a liquor store but sadly according to your website there are no distributors in Kansas or in any adjacent neighboring states
who can provide us with that which eludes us...we need Blatz beer, and we are willing to go the extra mile to get some.

Our thinking, skewed as it may be, is that a journey of a couple thousand miles for 2 cases of beer will not only satisfy our
thirst for Blatz, but, may also rocket us up the coolness scale like 100%. (I am recently divorced and a coolness bump can't hurt my
dating game right?) We figure as long as we are making the trip anyway we may as well try to tour the brewery where the beer that
got us through some otherwise useless fishing trips, is made. Our plan is to purchase the 2 cases of beer, and then sneak out to what
is now private property, (our old fishing hole) and re-live a piece of our youth. All the while ignoring the "no trespassing" signs,and evading
whatever sort of law enforcement may be present that day.You hold the key to recapturing our youth. Turn that key...unlock the door to the past.

In closing I wish to thank you for taking the time to read this rather lengthy letter and for considering our request for a brewery tour. In
any case we will make the trip, get the beer, and enjoy a fishing trip and a brief glance into our colorful, drinking, telling lies
and remembering the good old days.

Warmest regards,
Mark Price