Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year

Hi friends!
Tonight is the night that I, for one, have been waiting for. Sometimes patiently other times not so much. 2010 Has been a less than wonderful year at my house for the most part. I lost two people from my life that I loved deeply. I would like to take this opportunity to say in this semi-public forum...goodbye 2010 and fuck you!
No, the use of vulgar language isn't entirely necessary, but I think it helps make my point.

I hope that 2011 is a better year. Filled with new beginnings. New Years resolutions really arent my thing but I think this coming year I am going to make an honest effort to be a better person. Kinder and less judgemental toward others. I may even stay in shape for a few months, drink less, and pay attention while changing lanes in traffic. (ok yeah that probably won't happen)

Bleeps/Friends, please be safe this season and I look forward to hearing from you all next year. Peace, Love, and all that stuff!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Happy Holidays/Solstice Bleeps!

Hey Bleeps I had a free few minutes and thought I should catch up on your posts. Fun!! I usually wont leave you a comment if your post was from like a week ago because I figure you probably dont read over the comments section of them after a couple of days anyway.

I didn't stay up for the lunar eclipse last night. I figure if I really want to see a shadow on the moon I will pull my pants up. I know it was a rare thing and maybe I will never have an opportunity to see it again but I was really tired and I assume there will probably be pictures available somewhere.

All that aside I want to wish you all a very happy holiday season! If in fact you are not a holiday season person, then just have a good 2 weeks! See how political correctness can screw up pretty much anything? I will be celebrating Christmas either in a hotel room in the city (work, not hookers...well maybe? Surely not. But still...) or at my Dad's house with my Brother and Sister-in-law. In any case im certain it will be a good day.

Also I want to wish you all a happy Solstice!!! Yay, tomorrow the days will begin to get longer and the coming of spring will seem not so distant. I get really excited about winter that weird?

2010 has been a tough year in my world and I will not be sorry to see it pass. My hope is that 2011 and the years that follow will bring health, happiness, and prosperity to all of us who seek them. Please keep writing and posting and sharing tiny glimpses into your lives with me via the blogosphere.

Have a lovely day friends!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Next Roadtrip

Okay, I did a mini road trip last week but nothing really cool happened and it was only 1700 miles. That may seem like a lot but really it isnt bad for only touching 4 states. Kansas, Missouri, Arkansas, and Iowa. Now I have another destination in mind...Texas! Yep me and my crazy cousin are going to a concert in Dallas next month. I can hardly wait. We may get arrested in which case I will be calling you all for bail money. We may get matching tattoos commemorating our journey. We may end up in Mexico or Alabama or who knows where. Bottom line shes as crazy as me and we are gonna party like rock stars, or not because I am old and need my rest...Just kidding!! Cuz, if youre reading this you better have your party hat on. I will surely blog about our adventures with some names changed to protect the alleged innocent so stop by often and especially around the end of January. Oh and watch the news too. I havent been on the news yet but theres always hope right? Any of you who live near Dallas are welcome to attend the after-party at the W hotel in Dallas. Please bring a lawn statue or an exotic animal. What? Never been to a theme party before? Have a great day Bleeps!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Things I've Learned As A Bachelor

Since becoming a household of 1 (and a very large cat) I have discovered a few things.

1: The dishes in the sink when you go to work are always waiting for you when you get home.

2: The small pile of socks in front of my recliner wont walk themselves up to the washer.

3: If you leave a shirt in the dryer for more than a couple of days the wrinkles will never come out...just wash it again. And this time hang it up when its done drying, the dryer is not a closet.

4: Hardees, McDonalds, Applebys, Taco Bell, etc.. are not the grocery store.

5: Houseplants, like humans, need water to live.

6: The telephone, and the front door will almost never answer themselves.

7: The trash man comes on Wednesday morning...don't bother calling cause he wont come back on Thursday.

8: Every light on in the house at once doesnt make finding your car keys any easier.

9: If you fall asleep in your favorite chair that is where you will wake up the next day, sore and not rested at all with the TV still on.

10: Being a bachelor kind of sucks sometimes.

Have a great day Bleeps hope your holiday went well.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Out of sight?

Well there seem to be 2 entirely different schools of thought on this one. Which is correct?

"Out of sight, out of mind"


"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

Im not entirely sure on this one, either because I never had to worry about it before or because I am slightly over or under medicated and have a hard time focusing my thoughts.

What do you all think?

Monday, November 15, 2010


I found this handwritten post lying on my desk today. I remember writing it shortly before setting off on my roadtrip. I was in a very different place when I wrote it but it seems like a pretty good message. Here it is.

Yesterday evening I was driving down the highway going due South. I noticed that in the sky to the West was one of the most beautiful evening sunsets that I had ever seen. Brilliant yellows and glowing orange with every shade of blue from almost white through the entire spectrum to almost black, it was really lovely. To the East were dark clouds threatning storms and bad weather. Right at that moment it occurred to me that I was at a crossroads in my life and the evening sky represented choices that lay ahead of me. It really caused me to think. Think about where I wanted to be. What sort of life was I destined to lead. Recently hurt, anger, and frustration had become my norm. I sometimes felt it was easier to just be hurt and angry. Just go with the norm. And yet...I longed for the more pleasant side. The beautiful sunset represented peace, calm, and warmth. I warm body to to hold on to, a lover to share intimate moments and a friend to laugh with.

I have seen many paintings and photos and it occurs to me that turbulence and storms are more easily captured in artists works than is the magic of a perfect sunset. Perhaps the same is true of living our lives on the gentler more understanding side. It sometimes seems that although it may take more effort to capture that beauty and magic, the moments that we are able to capture it are worth the extra hard work.

There will always be storms. I am trying my very best to remember that after the storms the dark clouds will move on for the night and leave behind a breathtaking sunset.

Have a good Monday Bleeps!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Whats happened to my Bleeps?

Has there been a zombie apocalypse and I wasnt alerted? Here I am with crap loads of spare time and nobody is posting. It isnt a holiday, there is no new flu epidemic that im aware of, and global warming hasn't peaked and made us all into a glob of human 'smores yet. People please post me something to read about and ponder on for hours. I NEED TO READ YOUR pressure though. This is my way of saying I miss reading your posts. If youre too busy to post something you should totally quit your job. Priorities folks, remember your priorities. LOL Can't wait to read more stuff. Have a good day Bleeps!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Daily Grind

I am back to work finally...ugh! See I havent worked since Oct. 27. Took a couple days off personal leave then went on vacation then didnt work for a couple more days. I know...what a slacker! Anyway heading back out of town left me feeling a little aprehensive. I'm not entirely sure why. I guess having had my world turned upside down and "inside out" then back again had become sort of my norm, whereas work represents structure and predictability. I think our bodies or at least our minds can adapt to pretty much any situation given enough time. If turmoil and confusion become an everyday thing, the structure of a work environment can seem quite foreign. I'm guessing therein lie some of our issues as human beings. In our ordinary day to day existance we are forced to bounce around from work to real life in only a matter of a few hours. As professionals we are expected to behave a certain way with very limited fluctuations in our personalities. We are not supposed to be emotionally involved in our work setting. On the other hand, we are creatures driven by feelings and emotions. We respond to changes in our surrounding environment with anger, or happiness. We are programmed to care about other people and their feelings and adapt to changing situations based on what we see and feel around us. If our co-worker is clearly unhappy or in some sort of distress it can make us a little uncomfortable. This is a work environment, no emotions, no feelings, just work. Then we get home to our spouse or children and we immediately are expected to become someone with feelings and emotions. We are now in our home environment. Our families and friends need us for support and encouragement. They need us to feel their pain and respond accordingly. They need us to share in their happiness. Then in a few short hours it's back to work. Turn it off, get back in the game. No wonder we are all such a mess most of the time.

Bear with me Blogbuds, I am working through something here. I know that at times I have been emotionally unavailable and writing down some thoughts is actually helping me sort it all out in my head. You don't have to read it if you dont want to. This one is pretty much just for me.

Our blogs can serve a dual purpose I think. On one hand they can advertise our strengths like hey read this, Im really funny sometimes. Or hey look how sensitive and deep my thought process can be. They can also just be for us to write down thoughts we have, ideas, or a bunch of facts that may or may not be important to anyone but the writer. I think its cool that we can share what we write with others and comment on those posts that we read. Maybe my blog is a sort of transition from work to real life, or possibly the link between the two of them. Hmm more stuff to ponder.

I suppose there has always been blogging but before the age of the personal computer they were just notes scribbled on a scrap of paper and hidden away in someones writing desk or bedside table. Or even earlier blog posts painted on the side of a cave wall, or painstakingly etched in stone for the future generations to ponder. What will become of our posts in the future? Will they be any less interesting to the scientists of the future? Does thinking about it make you want to change your subject matter? Please dont. I love reading your posts just as they are. I really wouldn't be interested in knowing where a buffalo herd likes to go in the winter. (reference to cave paintings). Have a great day BLEEPS!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Whats going on?

OK some of you may know that I have been dealing with a crisis in my world lately. My wife and partner of 22 yrs has recently moved into her own place. Yes it sucks. But...she and I have been seeing each other casually, dating if you will. We go to dinner, movies, and sometimes just watch TV or take a walk together. And we talk, scratch that...we COMMUNICATE.

I find myself wondering why we havent been dating all along? Are we so wrapped up in our own crap that we forget the person who matters most to us in the world? I know, jobs and schedules and obligations. All important but none so important as the other half of US.

My wife and I have had a really tough year. Not an excuse just a fact. Our current situation although not ideal, has shown us what is really important. We love each other and want our marriage to not only work but to grow and thrive. We want to grow as a couple and as individuals. We want to get old together and add to our many wonderful memories.

I looked at my beautiful wife today and really saw her. I saw her eyes, kind and understanding. Her skin glowed and her cheeks were just a little red from the chill in the air. I loved her. More today than yesterday and more tomorrow than today. I wanted to marry her all over again and spend the rest of my life reminding her that she is a beautiful person inside and out. A delicate flower to be admired and cared for. A strong, capable woman who is fearless. A best friend and lover for all time. My better half. Without her I am only part of a man. She holds my heart and always will.

I must be the luckiest guy in all the world.

We are going to work out our issues, and live out the rest of our lives happily together. I know this because it is what we both want. I suspect she might read this post at some point and if she does thats ok. I think she would agree with all of it.

Cindy, if in fact you are reading this, I love you and I cant wait to see you again.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Roadtrip...the end.

I made it home safe and sound. The last 500 or so miles ticked away this evening. I am glad to be home and yet a little sorry my trip is over.

In just over 3100 miles I discovered that I cant always control every situation. I learned that I am not always right but sometimes I am. I learned that it is important to really listen to what people are saying. I learned that right here at home is where my heart is, and home is where I belong.

I spent a great deal of time thinking about my life up to this point and where I would like to go from here. I thought of people and places not really relevent to the trip I was on, but relevent to my life as a whole. I thought a great deal about the way things used to be,the way things are now and, the way I see the future shaping up. I made some new friends and visited some old friends. I saw some of our country's beautiful scenery and some really strange ocean creatures. I waded in the chilly Atlantic just because I wanted to feel the chill and the sand in my toes.

I visited or passed through Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, and Tennessee. Thats a lot of travelling for a week. There were a lot of places that I wanted to explore further but I didnt feel like I had the time...this time.

I am already looking forward to my next road trip. Not for sure where it will take me but I believe it will be west of here. The key to a good road trip is lack of planning...if you have no plan you cant be disappointed. Get out there and drive...its fun and you may be surprised at what you find. Go alone or take a friend or 2. Be safe and have fun.

Im gonna sleep for about 12 hours now. I'm tired. Good night Bleeps!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Roadtrip part 3

Still on the road and a long day it was. Logged 644 miles today. From Wilmington NC to Nashville TN. What a crappy driving day. Rain and wind. I did dip my toes into the cold Atlantic this morning as promised and got a surfer dude to take my picture whilst in the water. Then it was back to driving. The route today was really easy to follow. I-40 West. Leaving Wilmington I noticed a sign that read Barstow Ca. 2550 miles. Wow, I-40 must be long. I went pretty much due west across North Carolina, over the Appalacian mountains and into Tennessee. The area right on the border of the 2 states is unimaginably rugged and beautiful. To think that someone once said "hey, we should put a hiway here", totally blows me away. The hiway is in excellent shape. Easy to follow with no real need for my navigation thing. Getting through Knoxville Tn at rush hour is a challenge but I made it. Probably should have heeded the bypass sign just east of Knoxville. Oh well all is well and no new dings or scratches to report. I am staying the night at the Holiday Inn Express in Juliet Tn. Nice place, the front desk clerk upgraded me to a king suite and it is really nice. Yea priority club!! Tomorrow may be my last day on the road depending how late I sleep in. Mapquest says its 525 miles home from here and thats a pretty full day. I have enjoyed my time out on the road. Someone once said we sometimes need to go to our happy place. I think my happy place is on the road, driving with no real destination and only a loose time schedule. I have often thought it would have been nice to have a friend along to chat with and bounce ideas off of, but when I'm just driving to think and get my head straight, a passenger may have been a distraction. I would have liked to stop more along the way and see and do different things but experiences are more fun when you have someone to share them with. Perhaps another roadtrip is in the future. One complete with friends and adventures. Maybe I will go West next time. I always wanted to see whats out west. Deserts and cactuses (cacti?) and the sun setting in front of me. The rocky mountains are beautiful and I have seen some of them from the road. Mostly in Canada though. A houseboat trip on lake Mead might be fun. Never seen the Hoover Dam. (take all the dam pictures you any damn bait?) Yeah its from a movie. Im off to sleep now. Will write more tomorrow if the cat lets me...he will be needing a good scratching when I get home. Goodnight friends!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Roadtrip part 2

Ok so today was a really roadtrippy day. I logged about 200 miles travelling from Lewisburg West Virginia to Fredricksburg Virginia to have lunch with a good friend. On the way to Fredricksburg I passed some of the prettiest farms ever. Apparently people along hwy 33 like to raise horses. I met my buddy at the Panera Bread store in Fredricksburg and had sammiches and soup and some good conversation. We chatted about where my next stop should be and I decided to head south. Off I went towards Wilmington North Carolina. About 325 miles. Lovely drive down I-95. Not a lot of road construction and once out of Virginia...fewer police cars. I counted 10 (ten) police cars in one 43 mile stretch of hwy 295. This is a sort of bypass around the city of Richmond. Yeah watch your speed in Virginia! It was a sort of misty rainy day driving into Wilmington and it had almost gotten dark when I arrived so I didnt get to see much of the city. I did have a delicious supper at a place called Carrabba's Italian Grill. Calamari, minestrone soup, and a yummy seafood cannelloni dish. Theres an apple crust ice cream caramely thing in the refridgerator for later too. Tomorrow I will be heading to the beach rain or shine to dip my toes in the chilly Atlantic. Just something I feel like doing. I was last in the Atlantic ocean as a little was cold then too. Then I suspect I will head west and towards home. I'm starting to get a little tired out from driving and I figure 2 more good days on the road will get me home. I am glad I went on this little trip and hope to do another one soon. Anyway, see you all tomorrow!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


So I decided to take a little trip to help clear my head. What a trip it has been, and its only Tuesday night! Last Saturday I went to Kansas City to attend a concert with some friends. Roger Waters (of Pink Floyd)was performing "The Wall" Let me just say...WOW! Outstanding performance, amazing visuals, positive message. Best concert I have ever seen or will see I suspect. So after the concert I slept over at my friends house and planned an early departure the following morning.
Day 1: Leave Missouri and head for Hillsboro Iowa to visit a family member who is terminally ill and hasn't a lot of time left. We had a very serious talk and we laughed and cried and hugged one another. I may not see Richard again in this life but I know one day we will meet again. I stayed an hour or so and was on my way once again. East into Illinois and on to Indiana. My first night was spent at a very nice Holiday Inn Express in Crawfordsville Indiana a few miles north of Indianapolis. Did 30 minutes on the treadmill and off to bed.
Day 2: Leave Indiana and head for Ohio. I had never been to Ohio and really just wanted to touch the state. I arrived in Cincinnati early in the day and went about looking for something to do. You come all the way to Ohio you better at least see something cool right? I found myself about to park at the zoo and the nice lady at the parking lot told me about a place called Newport Kentucky. It was just across the river and she said it was a cool place to hang out. Off I go to Newport. Wow, what a cool place. I went to the riverwalk area and spent a couple of hours in the aquarium looking at fish and sharks and all things watery. There were a bunch of little kids there and they made me remember that things really are supposed to make you go "Oooo and AAaaahh" There are a lot of creatures out there in the world, beautiful animals, big animals, and tiny ones too. Maybe the funniest thing I saw there was a tank full of little eels that live in the sand. They would poke their heads up until I waved my hand in front of them then they vanished right back down into their hiding places. Sort of like wack a mole but with tiny eels. After my visit to the aquarium I figured I had better get on down the road. I headed due east and ended up in Charleston West Virginia. If you go there you have to see the capitol is amazing. I stayed at the Holiday Inn and would have had a lovely time had I not decided to drown my sorrows in too many drinks. Long story short, I got to spend a few hours in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. Fun? NO.
Day 3: So after my near death drinking binge I was off again driving east. I dont recommend driving after a night of binge drinking. Add to my already queasy head and guts I drank the better part of a pot of coffee to get me started. Yeah, a tad bit jittery. Driving was a nightmare and so I gave it up after just over 100 miles. I had landed in Lewisburg West Virginia. Ok I was sick all day but still had enough sense to look around while I was headed down the west virginia turnpike. UNBELIEVABLE SCENERY! Really. The 4 bucks I paid for tolls was nothing. I would have paid more just to see it. I recommend the drive, you will thank me later. That brings me to where I am now. Tomorrow I plan to drive up to Fredricksburg Virginia and have lunch with a friend who lives there. Then I may start back towards Kansas. I havent decided for sure. I dont really care to backtrack cause I have seen that stuff already. Maybe I will go a more southerly route back home. Anyway check back for my continuing adventures! Night!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Still Lurking

Hey Bleeps! Just a quick note to say hello. I have been very busy it seems. Work, family stuff, helped out a friend with a fundraiser, made a website (business not personal) and I'm working with a couple of friends to develop a new tool that will maybe reduce some on the job injuries and make me some loot. In any case I have not just been slacking. I haven't had much time to think about blogging but I do still lurk around your posts. Oh I did have a post idea yesterday but decided it might be too "R" rated for you all. ATTENTION: STOP HERE IF YOU GET OFFENDED EASILY... My post idea was wondering if I weighed more with an erection or less due to the notable anti-gravity effects of an erection. Yeah I know gross right? I warned you it was bad. Keep in touch friends!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Really? Poetry?

Ok, this isn't my typical post. There will be no giggling allowed. (aloud?) I put a pen to paper and this is what came out. Yeah I know...old school.

So this is life.
Night and Day.
The sun rises then sets and today becomes tomorrow.
The exact moment separating the two is indistinguishable, as time neither starts, nor simply IS.

A ringing phone and it starts again.
Again with the steel rails and red blocks.
Stones and trees.
The smell of creosote and diesel fuel.

Sounds of screeching wheels and clanging bells. A whistle
wrecking the quiet of the evening.

Xanax and Zoloft.
Ambien, alcohol, and caffeine.
The tools of the trade.

Stand, Sit.
Hurry up and wait.
Rest...but never really rested.

Are we there yet?
How long now?

Whistle off and here we go again.

Sunday, August 22, 2010


Why is it that when we go into someones office like our accountant, or lawyer or whatever, and they offer us coffee or soda or something else to drink, we always say no thank you? when we clearly do want something to drink and maybe even a snack? Thats weird. If my people are reading this you are on notice...I do want something to drink... and a donut. And the meeting doesn't start till I get them!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Game On

The community blog is working I think. It is called Who Am I? Url is........... Read my last post for details. Might be fun. Oh and if I am the only one who does this I will put a hex on some people...(not you guys of course)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Who Are We...Really?

I was thinking about my blog today. A bunch of posts dealing with everything under the sun. Some funny and some not so funny. Some can only be catagorized as random thoughts of a lunatic. While I was thinking, I began to wonder why I started this thing in the first place. Looking back to my very first post I was reminded that I intended to help a friend with some funny ideas for her screenplay. I don't think my blog posts would make a very good movie. Too many characters and way too many different storylines for a viewer to follow.

I think about my blog in its present state as odd seeds that I have strewn about. The seeds are of some unknown origin so I had no way of knowing what might grow. With my friends, family, and events past and current serving as the fertilizer and water for my seeds, I have grown something quite unique. Some readers may look and see a wild unkempt plot of weeds and brush while others may see a lovely garden. I'm not sure that it matters what my readers see as long as they giggle once in awhile at the funny stuff and maybe just maybe it might make someone look at the world through someone elses eyes...mine. (bloodshot as they usually are)

Thats pretty much how I look at other peoples posts. Reading them makes me wonder what they are really like. Not in a judging way, just curious. If there were a crowd of bloggers in a large room would we be able to distinguish who was who? Yeah we all have photos but lets say now that we can't actually see one another.

BLING! (thats the sound of a light coming on in my head...crap I hope it isn't a truck...hey am I in the street? no? good!) How much fun would it be to post unsigned blogs on a group blogger page and try to figure out who wrote what? How well do we know each others writing styles. Are we recognizable to each other minus our personal information? No kid names, job descriptions or references to regular characters. Is there such a thing as a writing STYLE? Or is it all about content? I'm truly curious...if anyone is interested in giving this a shot let me know. Tell your bleeps who also might want to play along. Worst case scenario it is a huge failure and nobody participates. Best case scenario, we all learn a little bit about what our rambling says about us and we might get introduced to some new blogs.

Let me know. It might be fun.

We All Do It

Hey there's someone I know! Haven't seen him/her in a h-while. Maybe I should go over and say hello. I do have grass to mow though, and Lovely is sitting in the car waiting on me and this ice cream will undoubtedly melt if he/she starts yapping about their sick cat and lousy tomato crop. Do I really have time to listen to some useless drivel about what they've been doing? Do I honestly care? How close were we at the height of our friendship? Could this person possibly have anything to tell me that might change my outlook on today, or will they just blather on about things that mean almost nothing to me? Possibly even throwing in a story about someone I don't even know and will likely never meet.

Is reconnecting with this person more important than my Cherry Garcia ice-cream?(thank you Ben and Jerry) What about my lawn? How can I possibly neglect my lawn? I see it every day...hell it lives at my house! Surely my lawn is more important than this persons Branson vacation with thier Aunt from back East, right?

And then there's Lovely. She will almost certainly remove an appendage if I keep her waiting in the car for what will, by the time I get done with Ol' slackjaw here, seem like an eternity.

What is this person even doing here at Wal-Mart in the middle of the day? Doesn't he/she have anything better to do than come up here and try to hold me up with their bullshit stories and half-ass insincere pleasantries? What makes him/her think that I have time to listen to their crap? I have a life...and if they think I am gonna stand around and waste time with them they are sadly mistaken. Not me, not today, not while I have ice-cream.

I should dash into this aisle and hope I'm not noticed. But... what if they saw me? Did he/she see me... seeing them? Oh man, now what? I am gonna look like a total weiner if they saw me seeing them and then ducked out before saying hello. He/she will probably think I am mad at them. Or worse, they might tell someone else what a douche-bag I am for ignoring them at Wal-Mart. I can hear them now, "Oh yeah he totally saw me...and then ran down the soda aisle like he was choking on an asprin!"

Then what? Everyone will think I'm a snob. I bet they wouldn't even speak to me the next time they saw me at Wal-Mart. That would suck. Maybe I should just pop over say Hi.

There's my phone...oh just him/her. Pshhttt, like I have time to talk to them right now. They can leave a message.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I've Gone Coo-Coo

You know what you don't see enough of these days? Coo-Coo clocks.

Is this the proper spelling? Or is it Koo-Koo? Kew-Kew? Coup-Coup? Wierd. I'm fairly sure it isn't Coup-Coup but who really knows? I wonder if the spelling problem is partially responsible for the demise of these loud, irritating, bird popping-out timepieces? Really. How can you market something when you can't spell it? What would you put on the box? Maybe just "clock". Nah, nobody would buy that. Sounds too generic. White box with bold black letters "CLOCK"

Another problem with the aforementioned clocks are the chains hanging down with the cast iron pine cones attached to them. Forget to pull the chains for a few days and you just might be late for work.
You can't set them on a nightstand either...won't work. You have to hang them on the wall. There you go knocking holes in the drywall.
Is there no end to the problems with these things? No wonder they aren't so popular anymore.

A Coo-Coo clock would make a pretty spooky alarm clock if it had, instead of a little colorful birdie, maybe a snake head or a creepy space alien that popped out of it... or fire. Maybe if you're an early morning smoker you could light your cigarette first thing with your fire breathing alarm clock. There go your eyebrows!
Hey, what if a hot cup of coffee popped out? Now were talking.

Seriously if anyone decides to patent the fire breathing clock/lighter I want some royalties or at least some recognition for coming up with the idea. On second thought never mind, there could be some legal problems related to the design and manufacture of something that cool. Like lawn darts...I bet they're rethinking that decision.

Thats about all I have tonight. Thanks for stopping by and sharing (wasting?) 3 minutes of your lunch break with me. (Yeah, I know it isn't your lunch break, thats me you have on hold!!)

Saturday, July 31, 2010


Lovely Wife and I went on a vacation a couple months ago. We went to Grand Cayman for a week to get some sun and relax a little. We had a great time but I must caution my American friends that driving on the other side of the road in a country with a friggin roundabout at every intersection can be a little freaky.

I had called ahead to ask if scooter rentals would be an appropriate mode of transportation on the island and the concierge assured me that if we chose to rent them, we should probably head them straight for the hospital. Heeding her advice, we instead rented a rollerskate of a car called a Suzuki Ignis. Now, I am by no means a small person and the Ignis cringed when it saw Lovely and I approaching with all our luggage. The guy at the rental place was really nice and didn't seem bothered by my lack of confidence in my left-hand driving skills.

Before we set out on our adventure he did offer one piece of advice that apparently fell on deaf ears..."The traffic comes at you from the other side." I probably nodded some sort of half-assed acknowledgement to this statement and proceeded on my merry way, 75 feet,to the end of his parking lot where our vacation very nearly ended in a most painful and unpleasant way. Thanks to the quick thinking of Lovely and her ability to scream in my ear from around 3 inches away, we weren't smashed by a large truck that was coming from, wait for it...the wrong side! (Great, now we have no chance at all to win the coveted award for the shortest car rental in the history of ruined vacations.) After that first near death experience our vacation went... well, swimmingly seems an appropriate adjective.

We stayed at a lovely resort on the east side of the island called The Reef. Great people very relaxed atmosphere and lots of rum drinks to take the edge off the heat. We went snorkelling every day and drank too much and I got to take a nap every afternoon. (Yea!)

We did venture over to Six Mile beach one day (tourists and cruise ships and tee-shirts oh my!) to shop and look around. We went for a short sail (complete with rum punch) to play with some stingrays another day which was really awesome.

In a nutshell, it was a fun and relaxing vacation, but that one sentence would have made a pretty boring blog post, don't cha think?

Friday, July 30, 2010


Hi to all my blogbuds out there in bloggville! I have so missed all of you that i cant really stand it any longer and simply must friggin write something...even if its dumb. I miss you all so much and I must admit that I havent been on here for
a- hwhile. the H was intentional because I like the way it sounds. maybe some people think of their blog posts as typewritten words but I prefer to think of mine in a more verbal or audible sense. see they're funnier now huh? maybe not and this is probably the only time I will think of it that way. I have been on a hiatus from blogging for some time and maybe this will be my coming back post...or maybe not. My main point is that i miss you all and I want to say hello and give you all a blog-hug or something. (blog-high-five to the guys cause well sorry i dont go that way). I re-ah-lized (see there i did it again) that you all mean a lot to me in some way and I felt that I needed to recognize you in a post. For those of you who have e-mailed me during my blogcation you are indeed a special group. if anyone should stumble onto this post I hope they go to my list of blogs followed and read and interact with my bleeps. you guys are awesome and you know it...if ever you are in doubt of the wonderful-ness of yourselves, fear not for you are indeed the shiznit! (that means i think youre cool). In any case I am trying a comeback so bear with me if you can stand it. Im what you might call a debutant to blogging. Crap, I hope I dont have to buy a new dress. Just kidding, I almost never wear dresses. ok once I wore ......never mind I was drunk and hungry for a pizza (if lovely wife is reading this she is laughing cause she knows the story). Hugs to you all and I hope to write more tomorrow, or Monday whichever comes first.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

testing 1...2...3...

After a bunch of hours in front of the television I have come to the conclusion that C.S.I. Miami does more DNA testing than Maury Povich. I would totally watch an episode combining the 2 shows. Calleigh could have Delko and Wolff and Horatio tested on Maury to find out who is her baby-daddy. But on a follow-up show we could find out it is really Frank the cop! Thats entertainment!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Ahh Spring

So who doesn't love spring? The season, not the metal swirly things in your seat cushions.

My job demands that I spend an abnormal amount of time in hotel I am not a hooker. So today, after riding a stupid train all night, I checked into my hotel at around 1pm, ate some delicious lasagne, and got ready for some much needed rest.

The day was lovely and the afternoon sunshine was making my room a little warm so I cranked up the air conditioner and off to sleep I went. At around 5:30 this afternoon I woke up in my sauna-room, soaked with sweat and dehydrated nearly to the point of delerium. WTF? My room AC had crapped out nearly killing me from heat stroke. Temp in my room? a balmy 85 degrees...and climbing. I needed a plan, and fast. I bitched to no one in particular for like 2 hours, made a few phone calls, and began to formulate a plan.

I am unsure what works better to cool off... a hot shower that makes the room seem cooler, or a cool shower that makes me feel cooler. I went for the hot shower and opened up my room window to allow in some early evening air. My plan worked, my room seems cooler. The plan isn't without it's problems though. There is a major hiway about 200 yards away from my room, it is loud and irritating...but the main reason I cant get back to sleep are the baby mosquito's that came in the open window. Ahhh springtime! All I need now is a good crop of spiders to eat the mosquitos.

Sorry I haven't written in awhile, I haven't had much to bitch about lately. Im off to enjoy some of my bleeps blog posts now as I have been missing them a lot. Have a great evening all.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Wheres My Funny?

Ok here it goes. This will be a sort of depressing post about feelings and stuff but I seem to have lost my funny somewhere in the last few months and maybe it is hiding under some not so funny stuff that I need to write and get out of my head. If you get bummed out easily just skip to the comments and type "Hi Mark long time no see, glad you are back."

My wife and I lost our son recently to a very rare and horrible disease. I don't know why in the movies they make it seem like being at someones bedside when they die is so great. It is not great. I watched a very close friend die a few years ago. I was sitting next to him, holding his hand and listening to music as he took his last breaths. I didn't like it one bit. I often think of Mikey and that last day. It sucks that the most vivid recollection I have of my friend is him dying. I have other great memories of our good times, but at the first mention of his name I am back in his living room watching and listening. It sucks.

I was sitting next to my son Jacob, holding his hand, and telling him how proud he had made me when he passed away on January 11 of this year. It was horrible to watch someone whom I loved so deeply and completely take his final breaths and slip away from me forever. More horrible is the fact that I revisit that morning a hundred times a day now. I have to watch my son die over and over again and it sucks the very life out of me. I see the nurse listening to his heartbeat and telling me that it was racing at over 300 bpm and she couldn't count that fast. I hear her telling me that it won't be long now. I feel her grasping my hand as we prayed for my son to go peacefully and fearlessly home. I see the doctors coming into Jakes room to say their final goodbyes. I see the tears as they openly weep at the loss of someone so young and full of promise. I see his nurses, his Angels.

I see and feel my wife next to me, her heart broken. There are no words to console her. Like myself, her pain and sense of loss is complete.

I told myself that at least we were there with him when he passed. I wouldn't want it any other way but it is really hard to be in that moment every day.

The wound is as fresh today as it was that day. I suppose it will always be there, threatening to open up and spill this sadness out.

I am somewhat comforted knowing that Jacob is in a better place now. I know that God has big plans for this young man. I know that one day we will be together again and there will be no pain or sadness, only joy and celebration. I hope I don't have to wait too long.

Jacob enjoyed this blog. He loved to laugh and we did. When his eyesight failed I would read to him from my blog and from my friends blogs as well. It was a special time for he and I. Our senses of humor were very similar even if Mom didn't get it sometimes.

I didn't want to be writing a depressing post but I need to try to get my funny back just in case they have internet access in Heaven.

I love you Jake!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Is It Wrong...?

Is it wrong that I drink beer while I watch "Intervention" on A&E ?

Saturday, February 6, 2010

10 Pounds

So today I was interviewed for a documentary about my son who recently passed away. It will be on the college tv station and I am told that the tv camera adds 10 pounds...I hope it was pointed at my junk!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Hey "Bleeps"

It's really it is. So just wanted to say hi to you all and let you know I still think of you often and read your posts whenever I can. I have been pretty busy lately doing stuff, going back to work,etc...but I haven't forgotten you guys. Keep writing because you are all so awesome.

I almost had a funny post worked out in my head about Horatio on CSI Miami but it was way funnier in my head than it was typed out. (probably due to the fact that typed out you all can't see me taking my sunglasses off everytime I talk to you while slightly skewing my body to reveal only my "good" side to the camera.) Plus it's really hard to type in a serious tone all the time. Just once I want to hear Horatio tell the team he needs to visit the little boys room to take a his serious, whispery, somewhat mysterious voice. (body turned slightly to left) "I have to poop Callie, indeed, and poop I shall! (shifting to right and removing sunglasses) Mr. Wolff, hold my sunglasses."

Thats pretty much the direction the post was taking when I scrapped it. Have a lovely day my Bleeps!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Just a note to say hello!

Hello! planned on writing tonight but still not ready I guess, so I will just say Hi! Keep writing cause you're making me laugh and thats good. Ok bye for now friends!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

My Son Jake

I want to tell you all about my son Jacob. Jacob was born on Jan 10, 1990 to a proud Mom aka Lovely Wife (Cindy) and Dad (me). About a year after his entrance to the world, he invited all his friends and family to the wedding of his Mom and Dad. He wore the tiniest tuxedo you ever saw and looked quite handsome as he welcomed guests and took a ride on his Uncle Mikey's Harley. (Mikey drove) After about a week Jake was already showing the rest of the world that he was going to live his life at warp speed. He packed a few of his personal belongings and moved North. He was off to Alaska. Jake found the largest state in the country very much to his liking. He enjoyed camping, fishing and hiking with his folks in the beautiful wild places of Alaska. He also met some great people there who would become more than friends to Jake, they were his extended family. He went to elementary school and found that learning came easy to him. He knew that words, spoken as well as written were a wonderful tool that he could use to take himself farther. He loved his books and read with his parents daily, and often while he was alone. Some time passed happily by and Jake asked one day if he might learn to play the piano. His folks were at first skeptical but soon they figured why not? It turned out to be another of his gifts that nobody but Jake knew lay hidden inside of him. Much to the irritation of his piano instructors, he never took much of an interest in actually learning to read music. Jake played mostly by ear and the trophies and commendations that he recieved throughout his piano playing days are a testament of his skill. He played beautifully, and in competitive situations would sometimes forget to open his music, or forget to turn a page, raising a few eyebrows at the judges table. He played regularly throughout his childhood and on through high school and beyond. He did eventually learn to read, and write a little music but his choice was always to just play. At the ripe old age of around 6, Jake thought he might like to perform on a somewhat grander stage and discovered community theatre. He could be an actor as well as a musician and all the world would know of his talents...again we were a tad bit skeptical. What use for a 6 yr. old could the Anchorage Community Theatre possibly have? Having earlier decided not to stifle him in his quest for greatness we agreed to let him audition for a part in an upcoming production...Jake got a part, A Lollipop Guild Thug in The Wizard of Oz. (Let me just say, as a parent, there are a lot of hours involved in rehearsing for a major production.) So now we have school, piano lessons, and play rehearsals to attend. Life was grand...and busy. This was how Jake liked things, he lived life at well over 100 mph. I wondered sometimes if he confused the word excel with accelerate. The production opened to wonderful reviews and ran for I believe 3 weeks. Jake's favorite part of his nightly performance was the cast lineup after the show to meet members of the audience. It was one of these chance meetings that led to his next acting gig...a television commercial for a local mortgage company. He was pretty happy and even more so when they sent him a check for his eforts and invited him to a preview party complete with sodas and popcorn. Life was grand. Mom and I were just happy to be along for the ride. (as it was, we were his limo for him just yet!) The following year Jake auditioned for a community theatre production of To Kill A Mockingbird. He was given the part of young Dill. Mom and I had some reservations about the language and racial slurs in the production but it was directed very well and worked out just fine. His performance earned him a glowing review in the Anchorage Daily News. Having been recognized as probably the greatest performer ever, he retired from acting and went on to persue other interests.
When Jake was about 9 yrs old he moved once again to the midwest and the place of his birth. He was well recieved and established himself as more of a leader than a follower. He was a knowledge sponge growing up, reading books and watching news programs. He continued playing his piano and as a 5th grader decided that he could probably also play the saxophone. After one long day at school he announced to Lovely and I that he had indeed joined the band. Nice. He continued to play that sax happily until he began high school, afterward he still played it, only not as happily. (we didn't think he should quit for fear he might want drums or a tuba or a digideroo(sp?) or something weird) I haven't seen that saxaphone for probably 3 years...must be in his car. Jake enjoyed the competitive scholars bowl team he was a part of during high school. Scholars bowl is a kind of after school thing where your school takes on other schools trying to answer a bunch of questions for Jeopardy minus the talented Mr. Alex Trebek. He also became involved with Teen Court. It was run by the county I think, and the best way to describe it was like a tribunal. The teens assumed the roles of prosecutors and defense attorneys and tried real cases involving teens. The defendants were kids in their peer group who had commited non-violent crimes and agreed to be tried in teen court hoping for a little lighter sentence. The program was successful and I think other places have used it as well. Jake went on through high school making friends and being a typical (sort of) teenager. Sometimes doing the stupid things that teenagers do but mostly being a really good kid. He got his drivers license and at 16 Mom and Dad gave him a car. At 15 he had told us that he wanted a really nice car with a big stereo and air conditioning... We were going to give gave him our old 95 Tercel with no air cond. and an a.m. radio. When he got it, he was pleased as punch! He was told he could have the car but he had to pay for gas and insurance for it. So he needed a job. He found one at the Mall Deli. Now if you have ever been to Pittsburg Ks. you know about the Mall Deli. Best sammiches and bagels in all the world. He worked there from when he was about 15 until he got sick last May. He started s a busboy, and moved to the back line to cook and make sammiches. He truly loved his work and his co-workers, and his boss. When Jake was a junior in high school he was invited to go to Boys State of Kansas. Boys State is run by the American Legion and selected junior boys in high schools from all over the state go there to create and run a mock government. He so enjoyed his time there that he volunteered and was accepted to be a counselor for the next year, and following years.
From this mock political experience Jake became even more involved in political causes. He began college at Pittsburg State University majoring in political science. Although he excelled in his studies carrying a 3.9 gpa, he decided that he wanted to change majors as a sophmore and study psychology. He never lost his political interests though. He felt that young people needed to voice their opinions, get educated about the issues, and vote. He wanted to spread the word and with the help of some like-minded college friends he launched a campaign to run for Governor of Kansas for 2010. Campaign headquarters was my house and those kids always showed up for meetings on Monday evenings ready to work...or eat. I was so proud of those kids. They did manage to spread their word and register many new voters but mostly now it seems like they all were learning about our government and the prcesses. Jake withdrew from the gubernatorial race to serve his country in another capacity...he joined the Army. He was scheduled to ship out to boot camp in October. On his weekend trip up to Kansas City to the M.E.P.S. (Army medical stuff) he became ill, but stuck it out and finished his weekend. At home he was planning to go to Manhattan Ks. to be a counselor for Boys State. Mom and Dad demanded that he see a doctor before blasting off for 12 days. The doctor told him in no uncertain terms he was not going anywhere but the hospital. This was around the 21st of May I think. 4 days later, worsening, he was transferred to KU Med in Kansas City. It would be another 3 weeks before he was finally diagnosed with H.L.H. He has been hospitalized pretty much the whole time since. He was home a couple of times for very few days before becoming to ill to remain out of the hospital. He underwent chemotherapy to fight his illness and prepare him for a transplant. He recieved a bone marrow transplant on 09/09/09 at approx 9:00 in the evening. He achieved 100% engraftment and things were looking more positive for awhile. Jake has since picked up several new illnesses including meningitis, and a fungus called aspergillus.
Jan. 1 the doctors believe Jake had a mild stroke. An MRI was done and confirmed that he had developed more lesions on his brain. His sickness was progressing despite the drugs they were giving him. At this point My wife and I were given the news that no parent ever should have to hear. Our son is going to die. We knew at the beginning of this process that there was a chance we could lose Jake and thus made sure to talk to him at length about his wishes should things go horribly wrong. An advance directive was drawn up and signed and notarized. It is Jakes wish that he not be placed on any life sustaining machines if he won't probably be able to have a decent life. He has made it very clear to us that there is a difference between being alive and having a LIFE! Barring some miracle of biblical proportions my son Jake will leave this place and go to God in the very near future. His life has brought his family and friends so much joy over the last 20 years. Some people live 100 years and never do anything, not my son. Jake packed a whole life into 20 short years and did it wearing a smile. He is not afraid and although unable to speak was holding his Moms hand and trying his best to comfort her throughout the night. Strength and Faith will carry him home. We give thanks to God for sharing one of his children with us if only for a little while.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

January 1, 2010. Happy new year indeed. I have been at the hospital for a few days now and I find myself looking inward more and more. I struggle to express myself outwardly and I am not sure why. My world has pretty much gone gray... not in a particularly bad way but certainly not good either. I am numb to feeling anything at times and I expect it is a survival mechanism passed down through evolution. I am at times overwhelmed with sadness or fear, and other times I feel like I am close to the edge of happiness or relief but will not let myself go to that place for fear of the return to my dark place. The road to this level of despair is a rocky one to be sure and is not well tolerated. I started down this road some long months ago and I dont want to risk making the journey again so I remain where I am. To feel truly happy and relieved might only prove to be a letdown. The trip was too hard, I can't risk trying to start again. So for now I stand in between, waiting. I hope the wait isn't too long but I know that I will wait as long as it takes. I believe that a person needs to be very wary of accidentally losing onesself in a world devoid of colors and sounds. I feel empty at times and looking now at the bare trees and the cold ground I wonder if spring will come for me. Don't take too long. The prayers sometimes feel inadequate. What am I to do?