Sunday, August 22, 2010


Why is it that when we go into someones office like our accountant, or lawyer or whatever, and they offer us coffee or soda or something else to drink, we always say no thank you? when we clearly do want something to drink and maybe even a snack? Thats weird. If my people are reading this you are on notice...I do want something to drink... and a donut. And the meeting doesn't start till I get them!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Game On

The community blog is working I think. It is called Who Am I? Url is........... Read my last post for details. Might be fun. Oh and if I am the only one who does this I will put a hex on some people...(not you guys of course)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Who Are We...Really?

I was thinking about my blog today. A bunch of posts dealing with everything under the sun. Some funny and some not so funny. Some can only be catagorized as random thoughts of a lunatic. While I was thinking, I began to wonder why I started this thing in the first place. Looking back to my very first post I was reminded that I intended to help a friend with some funny ideas for her screenplay. I don't think my blog posts would make a very good movie. Too many characters and way too many different storylines for a viewer to follow.

I think about my blog in its present state as odd seeds that I have strewn about. The seeds are of some unknown origin so I had no way of knowing what might grow. With my friends, family, and events past and current serving as the fertilizer and water for my seeds, I have grown something quite unique. Some readers may look and see a wild unkempt plot of weeds and brush while others may see a lovely garden. I'm not sure that it matters what my readers see as long as they giggle once in awhile at the funny stuff and maybe just maybe it might make someone look at the world through someone elses eyes...mine. (bloodshot as they usually are)

Thats pretty much how I look at other peoples posts. Reading them makes me wonder what they are really like. Not in a judging way, just curious. If there were a crowd of bloggers in a large room would we be able to distinguish who was who? Yeah we all have photos but lets say now that we can't actually see one another.

BLING! (thats the sound of a light coming on in my head...crap I hope it isn't a truck...hey am I in the street? no? good!) How much fun would it be to post unsigned blogs on a group blogger page and try to figure out who wrote what? How well do we know each others writing styles. Are we recognizable to each other minus our personal information? No kid names, job descriptions or references to regular characters. Is there such a thing as a writing STYLE? Or is it all about content? I'm truly curious...if anyone is interested in giving this a shot let me know. Tell your bleeps who also might want to play along. Worst case scenario it is a huge failure and nobody participates. Best case scenario, we all learn a little bit about what our rambling says about us and we might get introduced to some new blogs.

Let me know. It might be fun.

We All Do It

Hey there's someone I know! Haven't seen him/her in a h-while. Maybe I should go over and say hello. I do have grass to mow though, and Lovely is sitting in the car waiting on me and this ice cream will undoubtedly melt if he/she starts yapping about their sick cat and lousy tomato crop. Do I really have time to listen to some useless drivel about what they've been doing? Do I honestly care? How close were we at the height of our friendship? Could this person possibly have anything to tell me that might change my outlook on today, or will they just blather on about things that mean almost nothing to me? Possibly even throwing in a story about someone I don't even know and will likely never meet.

Is reconnecting with this person more important than my Cherry Garcia ice-cream?(thank you Ben and Jerry) What about my lawn? How can I possibly neglect my lawn? I see it every day...hell it lives at my house! Surely my lawn is more important than this persons Branson vacation with thier Aunt from back East, right?

And then there's Lovely. She will almost certainly remove an appendage if I keep her waiting in the car for what will, by the time I get done with Ol' slackjaw here, seem like an eternity.

What is this person even doing here at Wal-Mart in the middle of the day? Doesn't he/she have anything better to do than come up here and try to hold me up with their bullshit stories and half-ass insincere pleasantries? What makes him/her think that I have time to listen to their crap? I have a life...and if they think I am gonna stand around and waste time with them they are sadly mistaken. Not me, not today, not while I have ice-cream.

I should dash into this aisle and hope I'm not noticed. But... what if they saw me? Did he/she see me... seeing them? Oh man, now what? I am gonna look like a total weiner if they saw me seeing them and then ducked out before saying hello. He/she will probably think I am mad at them. Or worse, they might tell someone else what a douche-bag I am for ignoring them at Wal-Mart. I can hear them now, "Oh yeah he totally saw me...and then ran down the soda aisle like he was choking on an asprin!"

Then what? Everyone will think I'm a snob. I bet they wouldn't even speak to me the next time they saw me at Wal-Mart. That would suck. Maybe I should just pop over say Hi.

There's my phone...oh just him/her. Pshhttt, like I have time to talk to them right now. They can leave a message.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I've Gone Coo-Coo

You know what you don't see enough of these days? Coo-Coo clocks.

Is this the proper spelling? Or is it Koo-Koo? Kew-Kew? Coup-Coup? Wierd. I'm fairly sure it isn't Coup-Coup but who really knows? I wonder if the spelling problem is partially responsible for the demise of these loud, irritating, bird popping-out timepieces? Really. How can you market something when you can't spell it? What would you put on the box? Maybe just "clock". Nah, nobody would buy that. Sounds too generic. White box with bold black letters "CLOCK"

Another problem with the aforementioned clocks are the chains hanging down with the cast iron pine cones attached to them. Forget to pull the chains for a few days and you just might be late for work.
You can't set them on a nightstand either...won't work. You have to hang them on the wall. There you go knocking holes in the drywall.
Is there no end to the problems with these things? No wonder they aren't so popular anymore.

A Coo-Coo clock would make a pretty spooky alarm clock if it had, instead of a little colorful birdie, maybe a snake head or a creepy space alien that popped out of it... or fire. Maybe if you're an early morning smoker you could light your cigarette first thing with your fire breathing alarm clock. There go your eyebrows!
Hey, what if a hot cup of coffee popped out? Now were talking.

Seriously if anyone decides to patent the fire breathing clock/lighter I want some royalties or at least some recognition for coming up with the idea. On second thought never mind, there could be some legal problems related to the design and manufacture of something that cool. Like lawn darts...I bet they're rethinking that decision.

Thats about all I have tonight. Thanks for stopping by and sharing (wasting?) 3 minutes of your lunch break with me. (Yeah, I know it isn't your lunch break, thats me you have on hold!!)