Carnival, You're Running a Circus

Has it been a month since i posted anything? WOW. Heres the deal, I got separated from lovely and have been seeing someone else and have been working and blah blah blah...sue me. I really didn't have much to say until I went on a cruise recently. Some time back I wrote a post or two called "Grind My Gears" based loosely on a Family Guy episode that I thought was pretty damn funny. The thing is this was going to be a "Grind My Gears" post as well but I felt the seriousness of the gear grinding warranted a more direct approach.

My cruise with Carnival was how shall we say, less than perfect. Prior to cruising on the Fun Ship I had been exposed to cruising with Norwegian Cruise Lines and Royal Carribbean Cruise Lines so the bar was set pretty high.

I believe there are 2 sides to almost every story so I will begin with the good stuff...
Number 1...The ports of call were really nice. (Montego Bay Jamaica, Grand Cayman C.I., and Cozumel Mexico)
Number 2...My stateroom steward was the SHIZ!! Lovin ya Tio!
Number 3...Ariel in the dining room you really went above and beyond!

Now that those 3 things are out of the way lets get down to the crappy stuff.
Number 1, the food...Really a cruise is supposed to be about eating way too much rich food and basically making a complete pig of onesself right? 7 days 7 pounds is the generally accepted weight gain for a trip. OK did the website mention that between the hours of like 3pm to 6pm that the only food available is pizza(unimaginably greasy), Hamburgers hotdogs or chicken strips (am I on a cruise or at a county fair?), or a deli sammich (really? I have lunch meat at home.)? No the website didnt mention that little tidbit and it was an unpleasant surprise.

Number 2, service...OK The 2 persons mentioned above are not included in this section of my review. YOU ALL SUCK! There are about 2000 people to serve food and drinks to on a cruise ship, thats a lot but didnt they tell you that when you hired on? A smile or a friendly excuse me would have likely killed the service staff on this trip. Angry, bitter servers, pissed off bartenders (when you could get them to take your order at all) and grumpy ass cleaning persons do not make me feel like coming back with a huge pile of money next vacation.

Number 3, revenue...I realize that cruise lines need to make money to survive in todays world. I went on the trip expecting to get ass raped every time i pulled out my sign and sail card...but HELLOOOOO Everything shouldnt be about fleecing the guests, its irritating. We did pony up some money to be here.

Number 4, photographers...I get it, photos are a money maker for a cruise line. People want to take the memories home and rub their friends noses in it but I think I counted 22 different photographers on the ship. Each one acting like a fool trying to take a photo that you just had taken 3 feet away. Different background screens yes, but all the same poses. It was like running the gauntlet to get through them all. Hey, NO MEANS NO!

Number 5, entertainment...The magician was OK, the comedians were funny, and thats all I have to say about that. World class? no. (I saw the acrobats from China perform on a different cruise...thats world class entertainment)

I dont want you all to think that I am one of those people who is never satisfied and just loves to bitch about stuff, it really was a dissappointment. I think maybe the persons in charge of training the crews mentioned above should go on a trip with a different cruise line and see how the guests like to be treated. Go enjoy the trip, take notes, and bring back something worthwhile to teach the next bunch of servers and bartenders and photographers, etc... I thought perhaps I was being too picky so I asked around to see if anyone else shared my views of Carnival...guess what, I wasnt alone, not by a long shot!

The trip was fun, I got to spend time with a lovely young lady, we did some fun things in port and got hammered at least once. (yep Mexico) So I don't count the trip as a complete waste of time and money. Thanks for listening to me whine...

Back to you Tom!

About Last Night

OK the trip to Dallas was a huge success. Both bands were amazing. I actually was unfamiliar with 30 Seconds To Mars but they did an awesome job keeping us entertained. The opening act was called Middle Class Rut. They are a 2 piece band and I really couldnt believe the amount of rock they produced. (I had to get their CD) OUTSTANDING!

The venue was the House Of Blues and everything about it is cool. Spent some time there after the show and had a few beers. Super nice people, good food and a huge beer selection.

The hotel I stayed at was nice. We had a room on the 12th floor looking out over downtown Dallas. Yes but would you stay there again?? NO. Way over priced, not that I mind paying for good service and accomodations but 80 bucks for breakfast room service is a little stupid. No free wifi in the rooms, and for 500 bucks a night I think wifi should be a given. Wealthy people probably like it there because they never stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. LOL...ya, it Was nice to be only 2 blocks from the venue but Im positive a cab ride wouldnt have set me back the extra 300 bucks.

Another successful trip under my belt, logged just over 1000 miles round trip and finished in less than 48 hours. Yay, gotta love a midlife crisis right? Cousin had a good time too. Nobody got killed or arrested so everybody wins!

Have a good day bleeps!

Im Gonna Do It!

Ok my mind is made up. Im getting a tattoo. I know some of you are like "so what I have dozens of tats". Well I do not. I have been pondering the idea for a couple of years (ok like 5 years) so I feel like I have sufficiently pondered it and now its time to do it. I must admit I am still a little nervous...what if the guy screws it up?, its permanent, no looking back, will it hurt a lot? Ok the will it hurt is a minor concern I am much more worried about how it looks finished. I may smack down the artist if he wrecks it, nah I trust him he is an old friend. I hope it looks awesome.

I am getting a tattoo of my sons hands with a celtic pendant called "circle of life".

When Jake was alive we used to tell each other that we were like a triangle. The three of us represented the three sides of a triangle. The triangle is a unique shape, very strong with each side supporting the other two.
Our triangle wasn't strong enough though and now lies broken in ruins. I will not forget though that it held strong for many years and the tattoo will remind me that we did indeed have something very special, and I will treasure those memories for the rest of my life.

Son it will soon be a year since you left this place to go home to God. A lot has happened since you left. One day we will talk about it, but right now I want you to know that I miss you and I love you.

Happy New Year

Hi friends!
Tonight is the night that I, for one, have been waiting for. Sometimes patiently other times not so much. 2010 Has been a less than wonderful year at my house for the most part. I lost two people from my life that I loved deeply. I would like to take this opportunity to say in this semi-public forum...goodbye 2010 and fuck you!
No, the use of vulgar language isn't entirely necessary, but I think it helps make my point.

I hope that 2011 is a better year. Filled with new beginnings. New Years resolutions really arent my thing but I think this coming year I am going to make an honest effort to be a better person. Kinder and less judgemental toward others. I may even stay in shape for a few months, drink less, and pay attention while changing lanes in traffic. (ok yeah that probably won't happen)

Bleeps/Friends, please be safe this season and I look forward to hearing from you all next year. Peace, Love, and all that stuff!
Mark.

Happy Holidays/Solstice Bleeps!

Hey Bleeps I had a free few minutes and thought I should catch up on your posts. Fun!! I usually wont leave you a comment if your post was from like a week ago because I figure you probably dont read over the comments section of them after a couple of days anyway.

I didn't stay up for the lunar eclipse last night. I figure if I really want to see a shadow on the moon I will pull my pants up. I know it was a rare thing and maybe I will never have an opportunity to see it again but I was really tired and I assume there will probably be pictures available somewhere.

All that aside I want to wish you all a very happy holiday season! If in fact you are not a holiday season person, then just have a good 2 weeks! See how political correctness can screw up pretty much anything? I will be celebrating Christmas either in a hotel room in the city (work, not hookers...well maybe? Surely not. But still...) or at my Dad's house with my Brother and Sister-in-law. In any case im certain it will be a good day.

Also I want to wish you all a happy Solstice!!! Yay, tomorrow the days will begin to get longer and the coming of spring will seem not so distant. I get really excited about winter solstice...is that weird?

2010 has been a tough year in my world and I will not be sorry to see it pass. My hope is that 2011 and the years that follow will bring health, happiness, and prosperity to all of us who seek them. Please keep writing and posting and sharing tiny glimpses into your lives with me via the blogosphere.

Have a lovely day friends!

Next Roadtrip

Okay, I did a mini road trip last week but nothing really cool happened and it was only 1700 miles. That may seem like a lot but really it isnt bad for only touching 4 states. Kansas, Missouri, Arkansas, and Iowa. Now I have another destination in mind...Texas! Yep me and my crazy cousin are going to a concert in Dallas next month. I can hardly wait. We may get arrested in which case I will be calling you all for bail money. We may get matching tattoos commemorating our journey. We may end up in Mexico or Alabama or who knows where. Bottom line shes as crazy as me and we are gonna party like rock stars, or not because I am old and need my rest...Just kidding!! Cuz, if youre reading this you better have your party hat on. I will surely blog about our adventures with some names changed to protect the alleged innocent so stop by often and especially around the end of January. Oh and watch the news too. I havent been on the news yet but theres always hope right? Any of you who live near Dallas are welcome to attend the after-party at the W hotel in Dallas. Please bring a lawn statue or an exotic animal. What? Never been to a theme party before? Have a great day Bleeps!

Things I've Learned As A Bachelor

Since becoming a household of 1 (and a very large cat) I have discovered a few things.

1: The dishes in the sink when you go to work are always waiting for you when you get home.

2: The small pile of socks in front of my recliner wont walk themselves up to the washer.

3: If you leave a shirt in the dryer for more than a couple of days the wrinkles will never come out...just wash it again. And this time hang it up when its done drying, the dryer is not a closet.

4: Hardees, McDonalds, Applebys, Taco Bell, etc.. are not the grocery store.

5: Houseplants, like humans, need water to live.

6: The telephone, and the front door will almost never answer themselves.

7: The trash man comes on Wednesday morning...don't bother calling cause he wont come back on Thursday.

8: Every light on in the house at once doesnt make finding your car keys any easier.

9: If you fall asleep in your favorite chair that is where you will wake up the next day, sore and not rested at all with the TV still on.

10: Being a bachelor kind of sucks sometimes.

Have a great day Bleeps hope your holiday went well.