Friday, September 11, 2009

Whats wrong with you?

Ok, I am not a writer as will soon become painfully obvious to any readers of this hodge-podge of nonsense. Often I completely blow off silly things like spell checks, and punctuation. There will most likely only be myself and one other person reading this and she already knows me and thus will not be surprised by my sad attempts at putting ideas into readable text. The reasons for this blogs existence are not many, 1. I currently have a lot of spare time, and 2. my texting doesnt allow enough characters per message so my stories are all broken up and stupid when recieved by friends. The screenplay was originally thought up by a family friend, I will call her 'Mary'. She is actually writing a screenplay and was bouncing ideas off me one night. Much to her dismay I started rambling on about foolish things that I feel are funny. Her screenplay is a comedy involving men who are in her mind relationship challenged. OK so we begin discussing what makes a profitable comedy movie? First it has to be funny. I know, it seems easy enough but how many times have you rented a movie thinking i was a comedy and got it home only to discover your $ would have been better spent on a six pack, or some pot, or whatever it is that makes your day better? Hey don't be embarrased, we have all been ripped off at the video store. You know though, the checkout person at the video store probably knew it was a crappy movie, but let you rent it anyway! For this reason I recommend stopping at every video store you see. Really, just pop your head in the door and verbally abuse the people at the counter for 1 hour and 42 minutes, or till the police get there. Anyway there will be different little stories, mostly made up, some true but embellished to the point of total made-upped-ness, and some so wacky you will swear I am self medicating. If you are lucky (?) enough to stumble onto this blog I hope you enjoy it, if not, too bad. I am using it to relay messages to my friend 'mary' so she can put funny stuff in her movie!

7 comments:

Mark Price said...

Yes as a matter of fact I have been ripped off at the video store on several occasions - I don't know if pot would have been what I would have spent the wasted video dollars on - but I get where your coming from most definetly!!! Good luck to you and your friend "Mary" !

Mark Price said...

ok my wife is dumb she posted as me! see why i drink beer? its ok though now you will have a better undrstanding of why i am like i am!

Cynica Sarcastamos said...

Wow, now that you mention it, you do kind of write like Sarah Palin...
OK, so the screenplay idea has gone back to a book idea. Once it's a best seller, film makers will fight for it anyway, right? I'm just too mouthy to adhere to the very strict rules of writing a screenplay (that would actually get read). I like to provide details for my audience and a screenplay wants the details in all the wrong places. So I'm stuffing all the content back into the book. (You must help.) And anyway, when it comes to movies, it's all been done. The whole 'romantically challenged' or 'emotionally challenged' guy thing is pretty well worn out, wouldn't you say? I mean you can find a story about an EC guy in most movies, most sitcoms and standing in line at the bank. What's left to address? Oh. I know. MY take on it! And to be perfectly honest, I'm a wee bit paranoid about somebody snagging my concept and beating me to the World with it, so no loose lips here, Lucy. Now what should we blog about? The fact that I just went to the drive-up window of the Carl's Jr. in Fairbanks, Alaska where they got my order wrong YET AGAIN!? I have been to ONE Carl's Jr. (in my life!) that got my order correct. And I would not be so twitterpated about this issue if my order was complicated! But all I want is a Six-dollar Burger with NO cheese and NO tomato. This is not rocket surgery! NO cheese, NO tomato! WTF! So I call the restaurant manager and ask her what I could possibly be doing wrong - since the problem is CLEARLY me. She says, "Well, the Famous ain't supposed to come with cheese, but some employees just put cheese on everything."
Would somebody puh-leeze put a bullet in my brain?
OK, so here's the deal with the video store employees. They entertain themselves by recommending shit movies to stupid people. Wouldn't you? Beyond that, there ain't no accountin for some people's taste. I had a VS employee actually recommend Flesh for Frankenstein. OMG. OK - beyond the whole cult film thing - have you seen that movie? (Check out the armpit scene) Frankly, if I were a VS employee, I would either have SFB or I would just wanna F with you. As far as your mention of pot? Well, I'm thinkin' it would be of great benefit to both sides of the video store counter...

Cynica Sarcastamos said...

My word verification was 'mopsy'.

Mark Price said...

Mary, I can tell by your comment that you are a little upset about the 6 dollar burger and the collapse of the fast food customer service creedo. I will not be renting flesh for frankenstein and the only cool armpit scene i ever witnessed was at a strip club in Anchorage. Long story short, always take a buddy to the strip club with you lest you lose your mind and start to find hairy females attractive. I see you have realized that i now know your secrets and may be inclined to flap my gums all over the internet, you are right in thinking I might be capable of such an evil deed,however, I wont. I think though that I will try to post these comments and replies where the whole world can see them. I don't want you getting all self conscious though just be yourself it's way funnier that way. I will wait till I hear from you before I post them out there on the front page. Oh I also put an adult content warning on here so if you are easily offended... enjoy!!

Cynica Sarcastamos said...

Well alrighty then. But you gotta watch Flesh for Frankenstein, and there's one about Dracula, too. Andy Warhol made these films and my buddy, Donna and I watched them one night when we had no brains.
(It ranks right down there with COVEN. Perhaps below. I hear some people actually like COVEN. Watch them all and report back, K?)

Susie G. said...

about your incident at the hamburger joint; my question is, why do you have to pay more for cheese or extras, but they don't deduct that amount when you ask for no cheese, onions, lettuce or tomatoes? Doesn't make any sense to me; consumer just getting ripped off again!