I bit my tongue the other day. Not in the sense that I kept to myself what was on my mind, that never happens. (ask anyone who knows me) No, I literally bit my tongue. I was chewing gum and well, you know. It hurts, a lot. It got me thinking about some of the stuff we say to each other...
"Bite your tongue". What makes us think it's ok to ask others to physically harm themselves? Why not tell someone to "smack yourself in the nuts"? Is that so different? They both hurt.
Reminds me of the time I went to Hollywood to star in a big motion picture. My so-called friend pats me on the back and tells me to "break a leg". What a prick! So I said to him, "Fuck you, wreck your car on the freeway".
Here's one, "knock em' dead". Seriously? You want me to commit multiple, hammer based homicides? Who is making these up? Whats wrong with plain old vanilla, "good luck"? Sounds pretty good to me.
Oh, I made up the part about going to Hollywood. The tongue biting was real!
From One Mother, to Another
9 months ago
3 comments:
So here was me going "omg! Mark was in a movie!". No, not really. I knew you made that up. I mean, if you'd been in a movie, you'd be semi famous and have more followers because people are sheep and they always follow semi famous people, even if the suck. Which you don't.
Now...be careful with that tongue, because that really does hurt. My grandma always had this saying "How do you like them apples" and besides being grammatically incorrect, it always confused me because I was never ever eating apples when she said it. Wtf?
Funny post. Thanks for the giggle. =]
♥Spot
Spot,Yer Grandma is crackin me up!
LOL! I know, right? The one that gets me is "You want to have your cake and eat it, too."
NO SHIT.
Why have a cake if you can't frickin' eat it! (And if someone responds with something about wanting to KEEP the cake and EAT it too, let me just say, Don't be stupid. Why would anyone want to KEEP a cake? They get hard and turn green after a few days.)
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