Memories

OK Readers this is sooo not my normal post content but I wrote it and I am posting it. Hate it? Too bad. My blog, my rules!

Well one of my favorite holidays has come and gone. Time to put away the styrofoam Jack-o-Lanterns for another 12 long months.

I really like Halloween. The children at my door and their shouts of "trick or treat", The colorful costumes and the smiling painted faces. Mom or Dad standing back on the sidewalk watching their little ones taking what may be their first solo flight into the world. Reminding them to always say thank you before leaving the porch. Perhaps remembering their youth, and feeling a little older, but at the same time proud that their offspring are carrying on a tradition that preceeds even their parents, and smiling.

I noticed that the smallest ghoulies, the first timers, are 100% against putting candy in their bag. They prefer to have the candy in their hands. Maybe they feel that, using the bag is akin to putting the goodies away. Older kids say in the 5yrs thru 8yrs range will use the goodie bag but they will look inside it even though they clearly saw you drop the candy inside. Still older kids above say 8yrs don't seem to care as long as you give them something. They have an agenda, fill this thing up with as much stuff as possible before Mom or Dad says it's time to go home. Their vast experience, gained from Halloweens past, has taught them that this collection process will end all too soon, and they know they need to hit as many homes as possible during the time allowed.

If memory serves, getting home was almost as exciting as being out there in the fracas. I remember dumping out my bounty on the kitchen table and discovering what beautiful sugary treasures I had accumulated throughout the night. There I would sit, gazing upon my loot thinking about how delicious it all looked, my mouth watering at the thought of all that candy.

Now as an adult I can still go back to that special time. I see it in the faces of the little ones at my door and I remember. Thank you little ones, for giving me back a few hours of my youth. See you next year!

Evolution

I sometimes think as humans we often do stuff that hinders our progress up the evolutionary ladder.

I recall from some time ago that a "friend" of mine,(may have been me) had some doggie-doo in his yard. Dogshit in the yard is a problem. While there may have been some questions of whom was responsible for removing the offending turd, it had yet to be disposed of. Being a human I chose to ignore rational thinking and left the dung where it was. I will call this inaction evolutionary failure #1.
The day that I went boldly into the yard to do who-knows-what, I, being evolutionally challenged, stepped in the dogshit that, well...that I knew was out there! This would be evolutionary failure #2
Now, not only do I have dogshit in my yard, it's on my shoe as well. This may have made me mentally reprimand myself for leaving the turd there in the first place, if I hadn't been moving downward at an alarming rate of speed. There I lay in the dogshitted yard with my dogshittty shoe and now a matching dogshit splatter on the ass of my jeans. Yep, evolutinary failure #3.
I have heard people talk about accidents always happening in 3's, so maybe I thought for a second that my "turd-venture" was finally over. I soon figured out though that this was no accident. This chain of events was an exercise in evolutionary failures. The accidents in 3's rule did not apply. Not today, not for me.
I got to my feet and wiped off my jeans...with my hand!

So there you have it. Dogshit in my yard, on my shoe, on my jeans, and finally on my hand. 4 evolutionary failures...Laziness, Forgetfulness, Clumsiness, and Stupidity.
What say you now Mr. Darwin?

ps. Sorry Danica, another poop story!

Halloween

I totally didn't prepare a spooky story for Halloween but here's a picture of my "spooky" house. We think it isn't haunted. :(

Lest there be any question...

A thought occurred to me today. What if my blog-buds think I am all uber-talented with making stuff up to write about. I'm here to say that this is soooo not the case. My imagination is ok at best. I blog about things that make an impression on me during the day. Sometimes I do reminisce about things from the past but it's mostly because I have recently been reminded of the event and possibly have a new "take" on it. As I get older and presumably wiser things tend to look different to me. When I was 8 yrs. old, eating a whole package of Oreo's seemed like an ok idea. Now at 44 I know that too much sugar is bad for me. Might not stop me from eating the cookies, but at least I won't be confused about the belly ache.
My blog posts are for the most part true events, and real thoughts. I know some of the thinking is a little skewed, but thats just how I roll. I look at something, question it's place in my world, and then write about my conclusions. It helps me to understand things if I put them in a "me" perspective. If I can find no reasoning to a particular something, I will usually put my own spin on it. Thereby making it more acceptable to me. (as my lovely wife says, it's all about ME.) Think of it as showing the work to figuring out a math problem. In any case my blog is me. A very good friend of mine reads these posts and would tell you that they are a pretty good representation of how things are processed inside my little mind. So, if you saw it here, there's a good chance it happened. I usually don't even bother changing the names to protect the innocent.
So, anyone still wanna read this stuff? I hope so because I may say something important someday and you will all be bummed out if you miss it. Or I will be.

That Depends,

Not gonna make it...
Not gonna make it...
Room key! Where's my room key?! Son of a....
OK bags down, light, LIGHT...Where's the friggin light?
Belt buckle, button fly open, come on come onnnn! Zipper down, AHhhhh! Made it.

I nearly just peed my pants. 44 years old and already wondering if "depends" might be the way to go. Whats the big deal? So my ass would look somewhat fuller and more voluptu-ass, I don't care that much. A giant ass seems like a small price to pay for freedom. Think of how nice it would be to just stop whatever you are doing and pee in your pants. Babies do it all the time, and almost everyone likes babies. They totally have it made too. If they get tired of crawling they just cry a little and someone picks them up and carries them around. Hungry? Couple of whines and a boob pops in your mouth. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me. (probably why almost no one asks me stuff)

I wonder if the "depends" come scented? I really don't want to be smelling like pee all the time. I guess I could spray some deodorant down there or something. I would always have a soft place to sit and they would be really warm on my man parts in winter. So, lets see...

PROS:
Pee anytime or anywhere I want,
Soft place to sit,
Warm in winter.

CONS:
Bigger ass,
possible pee smell.

Looks like the pros have it, see you at Wal-Mart!

I wonder what will happen if...

ok try this click here

Kreativ Blogger...(sorry to disappoint)

A big thank you to Spot over at whatpassesforsaneonacrazyday She thought I needed to get all personal or something. I will do my best to make her proud.

What I'm supposed to do is write 7-10 facts about me then pass the “Kreativ Blogger’ award on to other favorite bloggers of mine. So read on...if you dare!

1: Not a lot of people know I used to be a redhead.

2: I prefer to think about things a lot before I actually do anything. It often gets me accused of being lazy, not true. I'm all about doing stuff as long as there is a point to it.

3: I do not start trouble. I do however like to make sure trouble stays stirred up. My motto: "sometimes you have to whack the hornets nest with a stick and see what flies out".

4: Currently married to my second wife, who was a close friend of my first wife. Simmer down...I totally met her after the divorce.

5: I don't like my job because it is terribly hard on my family life. I do like my job because it pays ok and gives me awesome benefits.

6: I almost never lose my temper anymore. I was a real hothead when I was younger but now it all seems a little foolish. Makes a lot more sense to me to just go to my happy place when I get irritated. Thank you Pfizer < totally kidding!


7: I'm a horrible typer. (typist?) I hunt and peck my way through these blog posts. This alone should make you be all like "Wow he must spend hours typing these posts for us."

8: My life is pretty much an open book. If someone wants to know something about me they should just ask me. This is really tough because I don't have any secrets that I know of.

9: I'm on facebook but I don't do farms or mafia wars or cafes or aquariums.

10: I really think you are all talented writers and I'm glad you let me hang around with you.

Thats pretty much all I can tell you at this point. If anything new pops up I will probably blog post it on a TMI Thursday. Sorry if this was a let down. I do better with direct questioning. Somebody (Kathryn) should come up with a nice fill in the blanks interview to pass around the blogosphere. Oh and I'm totally keeping the award picture.

Thanks Spot!

I will be tagging some people who are probably way more interesting than me:

1:Cynica
2:Todd X
3:Heather
4:Leese
5:Filmgirl