Saturday, October 31, 2009

Evolution

I sometimes think as humans we often do stuff that hinders our progress up the evolutionary ladder.

I recall from some time ago that a "friend" of mine,(may have been me) had some doggie-doo in his yard. Dogshit in the yard is a problem. While there may have been some questions of whom was responsible for removing the offending turd, it had yet to be disposed of. Being a human I chose to ignore rational thinking and left the dung where it was. I will call this inaction evolutionary failure #1.
The day that I went boldly into the yard to do who-knows-what, I, being evolutionally challenged, stepped in the dogshit that, well...that I knew was out there! This would be evolutionary failure #2
Now, not only do I have dogshit in my yard, it's on my shoe as well. This may have made me mentally reprimand myself for leaving the turd there in the first place, if I hadn't been moving downward at an alarming rate of speed. There I lay in the dogshitted yard with my dogshittty shoe and now a matching dogshit splatter on the ass of my jeans. Yep, evolutinary failure #3.
I have heard people talk about accidents always happening in 3's, so maybe I thought for a second that my "turd-venture" was finally over. I soon figured out though that this was no accident. This chain of events was an exercise in evolutionary failures. The accidents in 3's rule did not apply. Not today, not for me.
I got to my feet and wiped off my jeans...with my hand!

So there you have it. Dogshit in my yard, on my shoe, on my jeans, and finally on my hand. 4 evolutionary failures...Laziness, Forgetfulness, Clumsiness, and Stupidity.
What say you now Mr. Darwin?

ps. Sorry Danica, another poop story!

3 comments:

Cynica Sarcastamos said...

This just kept getting better and better!
I must say that your posts are almost always hellaciously funny, but when poop's involved - they're EPIC!

Spot said...

Eeeeewwww. That was gross. Really gross.

But aside from the grossness, I love the theory of "evolutionary fail". That was clever!

♥ Spot

Mark Price said...

Cynica, I'm not sure if it's getting better or not. My typing is better though. Seems like my fingers know which side of the keyboard the letters are on now. Take that Mavis Beacon. (Shes the rosetta stone of typing)
Spot, Yeah it was a little gross but not gross enough for TMI Thursday. Why do we fall short of perfect all the time? Has to be an evolutionary thing.