You know what grinds my gears? Chain E-Mails. They promise good luck, fortunes, and miracles all for the low low price of irritating the crap out of your friends. Helloooo I don't need any help to be irritating. Ask anyone who knows me.
It really pisses me off to be minding my own business when some do-gooder feels the need to wreck my day with a chain E-Mail. These things come wrapped in all sorts of pretty little E-packages with their humorous or inspiring prose wrapped inside. Once I got one that had quotas attached to it. "Pass this on to 8 people and your day will be filled with good luck. Pass it on to 15 people and your dreams will come true in a month. Pass it on to 30 people and a giant goose will crap you out a golden turd! OK I made up the goose, but you get the gist.
Stop sending me these things people, I don't want them and I will not be sending them along to others. The fact that you sent it to me makes you partially responsible for the chain being broken. Even if it worked would it be worth it to irritate everyone in my contact list just to wake up to a bathtub filled with strippers and melted snickers bars?
OK that might make me do it.
Heres the thing, I believe in miracles and good luck but I don't believe they are prerequisite to me annoying the piss out of 8 of my friends. Thanks for listening!
Back to you Tom.
From One Mother, to Another
1 year ago
5 comments:
Mark I fear you protest too much. This level of protest makes me feel, that deep down inside, unless you get at least 3 of these chain E-mails a day you won't be happy. So I'll put you down for :-
Cute puppy pictures - Tick
Even cuter kitten pictures - Tick
Bad jokes - Tick
Letters from Nigeria promising huge amounts of wealth for just sending $1,000 to grease the wheels (don't worry if it fails the first three times it is bound to work the fourth. I have faith but mysteriously little money....) - Tick
Codes for free cable porn - Sorry I can tell you are not that sort - XXX
BlackLog, ok send the porn ones. (research purposes) But the rest you can keep! LOL! Hey wait a minute, are you a nigerian prince? I'm grabbing my checkbook now!
Hmmm ... so if chain emails are out, how 'bout we go back to chain letters??
Member those days when you'd actually have to do work 'n' stuff just to avoid having your privates fall off ...
I should know ... I used to be a man and I missed one .... dum ... dum ... dummmm
I detest these things. I never send them on. I don't believe in miracles, Jesus, ghosts, religion and fluffy things except kittens, so I'm hardly going to think I'm going to die in the next 48 hours if I don't send stuff on, or that everyone I send on to is going to have good luck as promised. I mean the odds just don't stack up. Please people rational and logical thinking only.
Wait...so the hours I spent forwarding the "you'll come into a shit-load of money when you forward this to hundreds of people (that I didn't even know, since I don't have that many relatives and friends) because Microsoft keeps track of all the emails you send and Bill Gates will personally send you a check" was a SCAM?!? Dammit!
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