Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Lets Make A Deal!!

I have never been one to have headaches, unless it is due to too much alcohol...if there even is such a thing as too much alcohol. I have a splitting headache right now. I have been having them for awhile now and I think they are due to my stress level. I know right? What stress?


So here I sit at what is arguably one of the best medical facilities in the country and certainly one of the best in the midwest, dying from a friggin headache.
They have all sorts of drugs here. Cancer drugs, virus drugs, bacteria killers...etc. But not a friggin asprin to be had anywhere. Not for a visitor anyway.

In my desparation I went to speak to some ladies in the hospital cafeteria to maybe see if I could score some ibuprofen tablets. DENIED! Maybe the gift shop...Ugh, closed at 7:00 and it's a quarter to 8. DENIED!
Summoning the dark powers from deep within my twisted psyche I contemplated rolling a passing visitor carrying a huge purse that undoubtedly contained some fucking asprin or some pain killers or maybe a gun with which I could remove my offending appendage...my head.

It was the thought of the gun that snapped me back to reality. A headache is bad but a gunshot wound followed by a lengthy prison sentence is probably much worse. Or is it? In any case I opted not to mug the lady with the American Tourister suitcase sized purse.

I still had the headache, and I was no nearer to any relief than when I started. Then I remembered a particular game show from my youth..."Lets Make A Deal". I'm showing my age here but I don't care because I still look good. (okay I made that up) In the last minutes of the show Monty Hall (the host) would offer audience members cash for everyday items they might have on thier person. He might offer like 100 bucks for a paperclip or an ink pen. It was genius, crazy people digging through pockets and purses like mad trying to get that loot, all while dressed in ridiculous costumes. I miss that show.

So I went to a nurses station and announced that three ibufrofen tablets would be worth like 10 bucks. Guess what...it worked! And the kind nurse didn't even want the $10.00 There you go then. Ask and you shall receive, or ask and offer money and you shall receive.

Thats about all I have for now, Junior is having eye surgery and this is the nervous gibberish I am using to pass the time.

8 comments:

Danica-Dragonfly said...

Oh sweetie. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Even in the face of such stress and eye popping pain, you still manage to entertain.

I am happy you got your Ibuprophen. I was trying to calculate in my head the shipping charges from NS to Kansas for a bottle of Advil.

I sincerely hope all is well.

Warm thoughts and wishes from yer bloggy bud on the NE coast.

Mark Price said...

Thanks Danica!! I have news...the surgery went very well! After 3 months of being blind he now has
20/30 vision in the left eye!!! A Christmas miracle! Best holiday wishes to you and the whole
Dani-clan!

franzi said...

glad to hear the surgery went well! sounds like a great christmas present for your family :-)

happy holiday cheers,
franzi

Heather said...

It's no wonder you have headaches! You have a lot to cope with, but at least the surgery going well will take a little of that stress away.

I suffer from stress headaches, and know how debilitating they are. I had them for over a year solid and I couldn't even bend down or lower my head. I was on every painkiller known to man, and had scans but no-one could find out what was wrong, but one doctor noticed that my shoulders were rigid. Turns out the stress was making me so tense and I couldn't relax at all. I was on all sorts of relaxants; not allowed caffeine; using lavender oil; but nothing was working. My doctor ended up suggesting I get an orthopaedic pillow to ease the tension in my shoulders and neck, and with that my headaches disappeared! If I go anywhere and I don't have my pillow, the headaches reappear because I'm such a worrier.

Anyway, hope you and your family had a wonderful Christmas! xxx

kathryn said...

OUCH. So, by this time, junior is done and everything went swimmingly...right?

I'm counting on a yes, here....

Hey, bribery never hurt anyone. It simply showed how desperate you were...they shud've given you the ibuprofen in the first place.

I've got a tape measure...a shoehorn...and a chopstick in my purse as we speak. What do I win??

Spot said...

Oh Mark! The news about your son is fantastic!! Definitely one of the best gifts you could've gotten this christmas! You should have stopped the luggage purse lady because she sounds like my mom and you could have totally scored some awesome drugs, I mean painkillers from her. She's like a walking pharmacy. Currently, my purse pill bottle is down to a couple of motion sickness pills and two benadryl.

♥Spot

Mark Price said...

Thanks Franzi!

Heather, Im going to try a new pillow, Thanks for the tip!!

Kathryn, the tape measure and the shoehorn I can think of uses for but the single chopstick? hmmm.

Spot, I'm keeping a sharp eye out for your Mom and her purse!

Unknown said...

Headaches and stress truly suck!

Yes, he still looks good for his age...

Glad that door #3 had the relief you were looking for.