OK I may take this post down in a couple days cause it is soooo mean sounding. I don't even know why I'm publishing it. Yes I do but it is a secret. hee hee!
Dating services. What ever will we think of next. These things are everywhere. My tv is running non-stop commercials, and my junk inbox is full of crap e-mails offering to help me "meet hot singles now!" There is even a TV show now about a dating service that matches women with eligible millionaires. They should call it "Who Want's to Date A Sugar Daddy" Thats right I said sugar daddy. These women don't want just any hard working, honest, loyal, good looking man. They want a millionaire. Pre-requisite of at least $2mil. Really? Simply amazing. Shallow friggin hookers. Thats right I said hookers. I hope they enjoy their handful of cash when they sit on a porch alone watching a sunset or try to keep warm on a cold night knowing their new boyfriend is at that very moment going sack deep in his secretary's ass. Maybe she can call his huge account in the Caymans and see if it laughs at her friggin dry ass jokes. These men say that they are "just too busy" to find love the old fashioned way. Maybe after they make a love connection on the show their new woman hooker can be all sittin alone in his big ass house or feeding his dogs while he is out being too busy. Busy trying to keep her gold diggin ass wrapped in Armani. Sweety pie if you get all your work done I will bring you something extra special, a gift that goes beyond the pre-nup, A scorching case of herpes. Yeah then she will have the good life. I have heard wealthy people say they are afraid that potential dates are only interested in their money, Um, on this show thats a guarantee buddy!
Shame on the people who run these businesses. People will surely do anything to line their pockets. The online dating thing is my favorite scam. People lining up to give some jackass a pile of dough to meet their dream girl. I've been paying attention, the commercials say there are millions of people doing it and yet they always show like the same 5 couples. Hmm 5 out of millions? Wow I'm glad these guy's aren't in charge of landing 747's at OHare. Yeah think about it. Somebody must be paying for all the crap e-mails and the stupid TV commercials. I have a friend who moonlights in the matchmaking business. She says it works but I have to wonder. When I go to a restaurant and try something new it sometimes doesn't look or taste as good as I expected but I eat it anyway. Why? Because I paid for it. I'm not about to be made a fool of. Granted if my food shows up covered in goat hairs I will demand my money back. If my bought date showed up covered in goat hair she is probably a goat. Paying someone to meet eligible goats is at the very least wrong and maybe even illegal. So I will go on my paid for date and do my very best to justify her imperfections. That way I won't feel so ripped off when I get home later and call a real hooker. It's a rip off. Background checks are $39 online so sell that crap somewhere else. And if you feel you need a background check should you really be dating this person anyway? Get over yourselves you are most likely not so friggin important that you need someone else to find you a date. But it does make it awfully nice to have someone else to blame when it doesn't work out huh? You get to tell all your raquetball buddies how you got screwed by some dating service. Maybe they will feel sorry for you and jerk you off after the game. People please stop doing stupid stuff just to make other people rich. It's pissin me off. Really. All of you have a friend who can suggest a date for you, if your friends won't do you that favor guess what, they think you're a piece of shit. If however you have no friends you probably are a piece of shit and you should kill yourself immediately.
From One Mother, to Another
9 months ago
13 comments:
Wow ... who pissed in your cornflakes??
Okay - I was right on board with you up to the last paragraph. I think dating sites are stupid. I think reality TV in ANY form should be illegal and the folks responsible for shows that involve dating/marriage/spouse swapping or anything of the like should be taken out in the town square, tarred, feathered and stoned to death for even considering such a thing.
But the last bit??
You say I am scary ... me thinks you may be slightly frightening too :)
I think you and I both got up on the grumpy side of bed this morning. But that's why I haven't posted yet. Hahaha. Although I may or may not have left a snarky comment or two...
I do have to disagree. Not totally, mind you. You are right about sugardaddy.com and various other sites/shows. But some of the others are pretty much just social networking sites. And I do have single friends and it is hard now days to meet other singles. Think about it...people are so shallow that if you aren't model thin and actress pretty you don't get a second look. So what if you have a fantastic personality and are intelligent, if you don't get a chance to show it you're screwed. (or not as the case may be). I think these sites give people a chance to connect on that level. And yes, I do know people who have met online, and it's worked in person as well.
So don't target all dating sites...just the ones that foster greed, shallowness, sex (onlinebootycall.com), and freaky clown fetishes. Because you're right, those people are morally bankrupt and ridiculous. Don't go after poor Joe Schmoe who's just trying to meet a nice girl.
now smile damnit!
♥Spot
Ahh, back to my old self again. I really tought about not posting this one because it is sooo not me.
Danica, I'm totally un-scary. Just need to rant sometimes and I did have a little ulterior motive for that post.
Spot, Im not really grumpy. I generally don't rant because I get all off on a tangent and tend to over spew. Before I got grey I was a red-head. Its why I don't talk politics on here. Thank your lucky stars. LOL Anyway I'm smiling and I have a great TMI for tomorrow.
Ok what trainmaster pissed you off ???? LOL not sure about this post ...
eric
Eric, ya it's a totally not mark price attitude. I hope I haven't alienated any readers with my non-sense. Keep reading, you will love thursdays post.
Oh em gee! I just peed on the couch.
Mark, there but for the grace of God go YOU...
Why not tell us how you really feel? Dude! Our forefathers were capitalists who have raised a bunch of little matchmaking plutocrats. Matchmakers have been making matches since guys could pay with a chicken to drag their blind dates home by the hair. Besides, what would you do if Very Pretty Wife suddenly dumped your happy ass? Go hang out at the bar under your apartment? Subject yourself to a competition between you and 30 sets of rock hard abs and 6 tankers of Axe? Yikes, dude... just drink the poison and get it over with.
That's why God made matchmakers. Mainly for guys whose wives have left them alone with their only remaining passions: Hot Pockets and beer and ESPN.
Of course women use dating services, too. (Even millionaire women... pffffff. You're such a sexist!) One thing's for sure, no matter how much you take the little woman for granted now, the minute she's gone, you're a puddle on the floor. So guess what you do after you've exhausted all possibilities of ever getting her back. You flip over to the Discovery Channel, clean up your messy act and try to replace her. Where? Wal-mart? No, they don't sell those. Where, then? Well, let's imagine what your little friends on the choo choo train would tell you to do as you all cry in your beer. They have no single sister for you. And they've all seen the ads on TV, too. They're gonna tell you to go to eHarmony, Man. Duh.
But as usual, my comment has taken on a blog of it's own. Sorry! So why don't you go ahead and tell us how you would find a woman worthy of your EPIC-ness (after you've enjoyed your 48 seconds of happy bachelorhood, that is).
Peace out, Dood! I love ya, Man. Now will you please stop tiptoeing around the issues?
Cynica, heres the dealio. I'm like this totally awesome cook and I have the 3 things women adore most in a man J, O, and B.
As for your Wal-Mart theory, they may not sell honey's there but there are always some around. Makes me no nevermind though. Lovely wife will be keeping me all to herself. YEA!
I have to give you a gold star though for an excellent comment. I'm impressed. HUGS!
Umm hmm. Way to dodge that speeding bullet. Well, thanks for the compliment, but inquiring minds still wanna know about the Mark Price Theory on finding a great mate at the tender age of anywhere over 35... Perhaps you can blog that! But kick it up a notch, Oh Awesome One. Don't hold back this time.
((*.-))
OMG.. you can so NOT take this post down!! I loved it!
And I'll let you in on a little not-so-secret about those old 976 numbers.
Remember them? Or maybe it was just in my area.. but the premise was that you can call whatever live size Barbie they had on the television commercial and hear all about her sexual exploits and fantasies.
But guess what? They were all scripted.
I know.. because I used to write them :: hangs my head in shame. Well.. not really :: so whenever I see those commercial on at 3 am, I have to giggle at all the guys who think they're actually contacting these woman.
In fact.. I think I just got an idea for a post!
Thanks Mark!!!
danica, "who pissed in your cornflakes." I am totally stealing that. WOW.
man oh man, you are angry!
1. 2 mill is not really a lot of money. that is not enough money to retire on, you still gotta work, so that whole date a millionaire thing is crap.
2. I want to see a show where the WOMAN is the millionaire and all the dudes are trying to get her.
3. dating sites are awful but I have two friends who have found their "soulmate" and are married now! how the hell????
personally, i have set up one couple and they are now married...two more to go and I get into jewish heaven and I'm not even jewish!
So.....I guess now is a bad time to tell you I met my husband via online dating site?
A rant if ever I've heard one. Something really pissed you off, eh? Not that I don't agree...'cause I do. BUT there has to be something in it for everybody....those couples get paid for being in the ad...you KNOW those rich guys (If they even exist) have ironclad prenups...and the girls? I don't think ANY of them on those sites are real. At least, not the photos.
I've never done the sites. Never have...never will. I may die alone, but I can live with that.
Do you feel better now? You're a little scary when you rant...
Leese, ok ok The rant stays up. I do remember those call in lines. Dammit those were scripted? LOL
Filmgirl, Jewish Heaven must be pretty special. I think it's cool you can get in even when you're not jewish.
Jessica, Really or are you making that up? A guy who will clean like Tim surely didn't need any help finding a woman.
Kathryn, Yeah I feel better now! I don't think I know anyone who has done the online thing but I have a friend who moonlights as a matchmaker so I was pretty much just irritating her with this post.
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