I have an old victorian home. I affectionately (or not) refer to it as the "money pit". Yeah, like the movie. Thats a whole other blog though. I have been slaving away at a remodel of said house for like...... 2 1/2 years now. One of the first improvements we made was to put a bathroom downstairs. Great, now I don't have to do the pee-pee dance up the stairs cause I "procrastinated". (hi kathryn!) Nope, now I can wait till I just about start to dribble, then run for it! Anyway, the toilet that I installed in the downstairs bathroom is, well, kind of smallish. Apparently this tiny toilet is a source of entertainment for my friends. See I have a couple of friends who are, for lack of a better phrase...poop freaks! They are way too interested in the things that come out of their hineys. So interested in fact that they feel it is appropriate to take pictures of their doo-doo and message the pics to all their buddies. Here's the deal, my tiny toilet makes their ka-ka look enormous. I'm not a hunter but I liken this big-dung thing to a trophy deer. Trophy poo, and a picture to prove it. Its gotten so bad that I have to be on the lookout for these guy's. At first I thought it may be just crazy luck that these guys were having urges at the same time they showed up at the house. Then it occurred to me, one guy drove 9 miles to get here, and the other guy drove 24 miles to get here. This is no accident, it's a planned event. First degree poop-icide, and these cats are GUILTY!
People, don't let this happen to you. Replace any small or midsized toilets in your home with big, bold, industrial sized thrones. Also, demand that guests check their cell phones at the door. Really nobody wants to talk to you while you are doing your business anyway. I know this cause people have asked me not to call them while I'm on the pot. (the accoustics in a bathroom are weird, this accounts for all of us thinking we can sing really well while showering) My blackberry has a really sensitive speakerphone mic, so when I'm in there...they know! Anyway have a wonderful day, and take a little time to think about who your friends are and why they are special to you. Thanks for stopping by!!
From One Mother, to Another
9 months ago
15 comments:
You simply never fail to entertain me ... not sure if that is a compliment to you or an insult to my intelligence.
I really shouldn't openly admit I find the tales of your friends and there poo entertaining ... but sadly, I did.
Maybe it's this flu ... crap, I think I'm growing a squiggly tail :(
oink...
I think maybe we all need therapy, be it from a professional doctor, or a bartender. Me for writing this crap, You for reading this crap, and my friends for producing and photographing their crap. When are you going to feel better and post something new. Flu, Shmoo, make me laugh again! You know you are putting undue pressure on Spot,Kathryn,and LiLu.
OMG! Totally LMAO! Cherokee and I are at work reading the poop business...
OMG! Totally LMAO! Cherokee and I are at work reading the poop business...
you are so funny. you totally make me l o l. my friend wants to know how old are you? i am posting a new blog today. you should read it. Kandee!
You have strange friends. Then again, I live in a boy scout camp. During the summer, I have a lot of college and high school age boys and some man children (who will never grow up) stopping by frequently. I used to make them check all matches and knives (um, they're boy scouts- they're prepared) at the front door. Now I will have to start collecting cell phones as well! No, I think my throne is safe...they all walk out in the yard to pee. And I don't let them poop at my house. There are latrines in camp for that!
And your poor wife...I would hate to clean that bathroom, knowing what goes on in there. She might need a hazmat suit.
♥Spot
Anonymous, omg you forgot to sign your comment! both times! lol i guess you work with Cherokee. Thanks and glad you enjoyed it!
Kandee, Thanks for reading my blog I hope I can keep you and your girlfriends laughing. (usually I have to get naked to make women laugh!) I will read your blog too!
Spot they don't get much stranger than these two guys. My wife has never shown an interest in seeing the "trophy poo pics". Of course neither have I or any of the other recipients, we still get them though.
p.s. I tried to pressure Danica into posting something today to ease the workload on you and my other 2 comic therapists. Dunno if it worked though.
You know, I pooped a "J" once...and I totally should've taken a picture...cause it was AWESOME...disgusting, but I was proud of my bowels that day...
and i love that toilet
Jessica, that is awesome. Not as cool as pooping a "Q", but still pretty nice. Thanks for stopping by!
Ah, somebody call the cops, one of the perpetrators has shown up. Brock, I think I speak for many of us on the railroad when I say that a telephone is not a toy, and poop is not appropriate subject matter for photography.
Yeah ... therapy ... been there, done that ... bought, burned and buried that T shirt. That's what blogging is for.
So I was thinking after I last commented on your poopie post ... I know an entire family that prides it's poopie. I'm not shittin' ya (bad pun intended). There are two girls and a boy plus a mom and a dad. The boy was my big brother growing up, the mom and dad were my surrogate mom and dad and the younger sister was like my younger sister. (the older one I never bonded with and recently she married my ex boyfriend - another day...) Anyhoo - they worship their poops. And they are freakishly tall people - so I think it creates bigger specimens. I never did understand that about them.
I'd sooner have folks think I didn't poo at all than advertise such an unpleasant event.
Anyway - I posted another offering to you, my blog god. But I am still hopped up on all kinds of crap, so I take no responsibilty for its funny-ness.
Oh my God. I will be you 5 million dollars that there is not ONE WOMAN who would take a photo of her poop. NOT ONE. (Under the age of 5...void where prohibited by law, not applicable in states with the letter "a" in them, or or any town with over 23 people living in it.)
Oh, and FYI? MY last home was (and still is) referred to as "The Pit"...for similar reasons, but none of ours were good ones.
"Hey, Mark!"
I always thought poop was entertaining but you put a whole new "wow I'm obsessed about poop, too." spin on it. My ex and his buddies/coworkers were obsessed with poop. They were city sewer workers - AKA "Turd Hurders". Once while on a fishing trip, he photographed a creation he left behind a log on a sand bar in the Deshka River. It was monumental.
Hunters might have compared it's impressive length and position to a 'full curl', but I compared it to a garden hose. Thank God it was guacamole green. Otherwise I would have panicked that his all powerful internal poop factory's
parts were falling out. Yikes!
So what was the story with your great house and no downstairs toidy? Do you think that there was an outhouse
somewhere on your property? (Hopefully not under your
veggie garden - otherwise it might explain the gi-normous size of your zucchini...)
Wow. I didn't mean to poop ramble. I think sometimes my
mouth totally gets diarrhea. Write on Very Funny Man. You're gettin some awesome groupies hangin round you-
Danica, yipee you are posting again! This makes me very happy. I'm not sure if tall people poop bigger or not. I will inquire and get back to you.
Kathryn, I sure could use the 5 million. So if you have it laying around and are wondering whom to bless with it...??
Cynica, yer my most awesomest groupie, you know that right? If in doubt, check my phone bills! Sorry about the 5 am text by the way...forgot you were in another world! Not my fault if you sleep too close to your phone!
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