Dear Mr. President...

Ok readers no comedy today just a rant.

Dear Mr. President of Taco Bell. I am from a smallish city in southeast Kansas and I pretty much grew up on your delicious and affordable grub. T-Bell has been a food group of mine as long as I can remember. I like that you can go in there after a night of drunken debauchery and spend $7 to kill a $40 buzz. As a youngster I liked that your location allowed for my friends and I to turn around while "cruising" downtown. As an adult with a stupid job that keeps me out till the odd hours, I like it that your place is almost always open. Now on to the point of this letter.
Earlier this year tragedy struck our town. You saw fit to close our Taco Bell and rebuild it. You probably thought you could make it better and stronger like the Six Million Dollar Man.

The trouble began with the closing of our store. The closest Taco Bell to us is around 20 miles away and when your drunk and hungry, or late for work...you know. But we pulled together as a community and got through it. There was much texting and tweeting and speculation about when our store was going to reopen. There were too many facebook threads to count about what we were going to order and how much we were going to enjoy it.

Well the big day finally came, the store was opened. Much to my dismay I was out of town and so I missed the gloriously long drive-thru lines and the elbow to elbow dining room rush.
Upon my return to town I did get an opportunity to visit my old dear friend the Bell. Disappointment is putting it mildly.

Lets start with the parking lot. I pulled in and waited behind some drive-thru traffic to get into a parking spot. Then I waded back thru that traffic to head inside. Wow did you guys ever screw that up!
The lobby and front counter area looks really cool and updated, but it EB-SO-LUTELY will not flow.
You stand in a loosly formed line to get to point "A" and order your food. Then you have to go thru a bunch of people to get to the beverage station at point "C". With drinks in hand you navigate the mosh pit back to point "B" to collect your food, then scramble exactly backwards with drinks and food in hand to point "D" for sauces and napkins. After you have completed these difficult manuevers, you can assume the role of an offensive lineman and bash through the melee towards the same door you came in only minutes before. At last back in the parking lot food and drinks in hand, you dodge the drunken masses still waiting in the drive-through line and make it (hopefully) safely back to your car. As soon as the Xanax starts to work it's glorious magic, you can begin the task of backing out of the parking spot, narrowly avoiding the drive-thru line, and out of the parking lot.

Mr. President of Taco Bell I recommend 3 things.
First: Read this blog post.
Second: Call your design team and ask them to come to your office for a visit. (They will surely think you are giving them a sweet raise or pat on the back.)
Third and most important: FIRE THEM ALL and send their paychecks to me for alerting you to their incompetence.
Sir, I am confident you will feel better after doing these things.
I will continue to enjoy your products as long as the drive thru line isn't too long. I will not be going back inside your store until the old reliable design is reinstated. If I feel the line at your drive thru is too long I will be headed for Hardees or Sonic. I like their food too so it makes me no nevermind.
Thank You and Have a lovely day.
Sincerely,
Mark Price