Well Done!

I bitch about my job...frequently. The crappy hours the no days off and most of all the boredom. On a recent trip however I decided that I didnt have the worst job ever, or even the most boring one.

Our main line in Kansas City runs past a huge, abandoned building complex. Some of the buildings have missing doors, and most have their windows knocked out. The area is however, for some odd reason unbeknownst to me, patrolled by a security guard. Really? This makes as much sense to me as putting a lock on my garbage can. Anyway the security company has a guy who drives around the area in a little truck all night long, armed only with a spotlight and his razor sharp wit. I call him the "Protector of The Cones!" See there's a little driveway that crosses our tracks and someone has put up 3 traffic cones to prevent vehicles from entering the area. Anyone on foot can enter anywhere, because there is no fence. A good part of the time the security man can be found parked directly behind these cones. Bravely protecting them from, I don't know...cone bandits?

This guy has got to be so bored he wants to kill himself every night. I sometimes wonder if he sits there in his truck staring at the cones, reflecting on his life and his career choices. I guess recently someone else was concerned about his emotional well being because they put one of his cones on our tracks where it fell victim to the steel wheels of a 200 ton locomotive and was mercilessly cut in two!

I figure he immediately realized that his previously impenetrable fortress wall had been breached. This realization almost certainly reminded him that his job as "Protector of The Cones" was important, even vital!

There he was, a lone commander minus one third of his soldiers! His "trio of ultimate security", was suddenly a duet! Being a resourceful leader, he retrieved his now 2 piece cone. He then called upon the "ancient knowlege of security", buried deep in his psyche and quickly formulated a plan. "It's crazy", he thought. "Just crazy enough to work"!
He placed the bottom half of the cone in it's rightful place on the ground then jammed the remainder of it right on top of it! Success!

His cones were back where they belonged. His tiny orange army was standing proud, and his abandoned fortress was once again safe from intruders. All thanks to his quick thinking and years of experience. Perhaps a lesser man would have been afraid. But not he. He has tasted fear and has no appetite for it. He is the "Protector of The Cones"

I imagine at this point he sat back gazing upon his handi-work. 2 full sized cones and one shorter, slightly crooked cone, and gave a sigh of relief.
Fully sated and content, I suppose he smoked a well deserved cigarette and thought to himself, well done security man, well done!